I don't have a name anymore. Nothing connected to me has a name. My life, like myself, is a shadow of the past. Why? I no longer exist in your world. Or at least, I shouldn't.
And yet, I'm still here. Trapped in a world where I no longer belong. For the same reason as all restless souls - I couldn't let go.
I couldn't let go of a promise that lasted beyond the afterlife.
But everything that exists needs a name, right? Human beings need one for everything or at least a logical explanation, a description - a story.

Then let's say my name is Dewil and this is my story.

"Dewil!" My mother's voice echoed through the alley. I quickly put out the cigarette in my hand, hastily dropping the half-finished stub and sweeping it as far away as possible with one foot. From the front pocket of my hoodie, I pulled out the individually wrapped gum I had been handed earlier at the store when I paid. Impatiently I tore the wrapper open. The mint-scented lifesaver landed right on the dirty floor. "Crap!"  

"Boy, I think your mother is looking for you" Mrs. Han, the chubby kiosk-owner, looked at me with her big eyes behind a layer of glasses. 
I nodded sheepishly while fighting a battle with myself.
Should I still eat the gum off the floor, which hasn't been cleaned in decades or risk a ticking-off from my mother?
I decided to go with the first option. With a casual movement, I bent down to lift the gum and blew away the dust.)

"You're not going to eat that, are you?" Ms. Han raised an eyebrow. Her glasses sank to the tip of her nose and her eyes shrunk by half of their previous state. How bad was her eyesight?
I shook my head with a smile and returned the gum to my hoodie's front pocket.
Why do you have to be so nosy, lady? I'm going to eat it!
"You didn't see me, Mrs. Han!" 
"But..."
Before she could answer, I swung on my old, rusty bike and pedaled hard. 

"Dewil!" My mother's voice grew softer with each turn of my wheels and died away after a time. The gravel road limited my bike. It jerked and squeaked. Every meter felt like a ride on the round thing in amusement parks, which name I forgot. 
A friend of mine once suggested that I should get on one of these if I ever wanted to get closer to a girl. But to be honest, I didn't know how that should work and I wasn't interested in finding a girlfriend.

After riding far enough to be out of my mother's reach, I stopped and put my bike down on the grass at the side of the road. Next to it, I sat down.
The evening sun moved towards the horizon, and I enjoyed its warmth on my skin with my eyes closed. The cool breeze blew wisps of hair out of my face and carried the nearby forest's smell. Many would pay to experience such scenery away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I couldn't hear anything other than birds, the loud chirping of crickets and the rustling of leaves.

Like an uninvited guest, the smell of fresh manure from the surrounding potato fields hit my nose and reminded me that I couldn't stand this place at all. I couldn't get used to this stench. Although we had lived in a tiny apartment, or rather rat hole, in Seoul, we were surrounded by life. How could I ever compare it to this small village?  
Less than sixty residents lived in this one-horse town, and three-quarters of them consisted of old, nosy grandmothers like Mrs. Han. Anything but exciting for a rebellious fifteen-year-old boy. 

"Hey!" A hand tapped me and I wheeled around, startled. In case this person was my mother, I was ready to run away.
"You've been smoking again!" My sister, the dwarf, held her nose with two fingers and sat down next to me. 
The gum! I pulled it out of my pocket and popped it in my mouth without another thought. Who has ever died from a bit of dirt?
"Did you skip school again?" She looked at me reproachfully. When did she grow up? I could still remember when she couldn't fall asleep without Freddy in her arms and whined all night. 

"How was school?" I decided to ignore her question, preferring to change the subject. 
"It was okay..." 
"Did something happen?" 
She shook her head silently, looked at the floor and plucked one blade of grass with both hands. Strains of her long hair fell into her face, and it looked as if some had been cut off unevenly. 

"Have they been teasing you again?" 
"They wanted to cut my hair short because I'm the only girl wearing a boy's uniform." 
"Who?" I asked grudgingly, feeling the rising anger. She didn't answer and instead continued to pluck at the shrinking blade of grass.
"Damn it! Who was it?" Impatiently, I got up and took my bike. I planned to ride to school and teach everyone in her class a lesson.
Those tots will experience the feeling of being bullied! 

"Sit back down, Oppa!" For an eleven-year-old, she already sounded confident. "Or do you want them to kick you out of school for good?" 
Perplexed, I sat back down with her. Although I was four years older, the dwarf was more mature and foresighted.
"I'm sorry you don't have an older sister to inherit the uniform from." 
In the corner of my eye, I saw her pressing her face tightly against her knees and the small body started to tremble. Damn it!  

"Look, I didn't mean it...," I tried to make up for my rude statement and put a hand on her shoulder, helplessly trying to comfort her. I couldn't stand it when someone cried. Especially not when it was my mother or sister. 
"I meant to say that..." during my panicked attempt to calm her down, she tilted her head back and snorted loudly. 
"I knew it!" Her laugh was so contagious that the anger I felt a moment ago subsided, and I couldn't help but laugh as well. I turned back to the sprawling potato field.

"I like the uniform," she said, carefully smoothing her school uniform with the palms of her hands as if it was the most precious thing she owned. "I can kick their asses better in these pants if they piss me off." 
I had to cover up my pride and instead put on a lecturing tone. "You shouldn't hit..."
"Pah! You of all people say that?" The dwarf interrupts me mid-sentence, but she wasn't wrong. The last person she should be taking advice from was me. I guess it runs in our family. We all tended to be heated and impulsive. 

The sun, which warmed us a moment ago, disappeared entirely behind the horizon. 
"Let's go home," I said, standing up and wiping the dirt off my pants. 
"What about Mom?"
"She must have gone to work by now."
I gestured with my head to the back seat of my bike. The dwarf grinned from ear to ear, picked up her school bag and ran towards me.

With a quick movement, I pulled off the hoodie and put it over her head.
"But what about you?" She tried to take off the sweater, which was at least five sizes too big and ended over her knee. Sighing, I put the hood on her, pulled both drawstrings and tied a knot at the end. She almost looked like a baby being wrapped up in a blanket. "Get on already!" 

During the ride, neither of us talked. Lights of various houses shed light on the narrow road and made riding home easier. Although I could not see my sister's expression, I knew what was going on in her head. 
We could see the shadows of the residents through the window of almost every house we passed. Some enjoyed their family dinner, others sat in front of the flickering television and watched a movie together.

A scene that would never occur in our home, although we longed for such normality every night before going to sleep. By now, I detested this picture because it meant I still hoped. 

I was blinded by a car's headlight when we arrived at the other side of the village. To stop, I pulled on the brake as hard as I could. The ground made a cracking sound as the oversized wheels of the approximating car rolled over it. When the vehicle was next to me, the driver lowered his window a little.
"Boy, do you know where I can find this address?" He held out a small piece of paper. I swallowed hard. 

"Are you dumb or something?" he asked, waving his note back and forth vigorously while I was still frantically searching for an answer. 
"Little girl, I'm sure you can read by now. You know..." The dwarf took the note in her hand and tried to decode what was written on it. Her mouth silently formed OUR address.

No! She's going to blow this up for sure!

"There is no street going by that name in this village!" I snatched the memo before she could get us in trouble and thrust it back into his hand. The man, wearing a leather jacket, as if he didn't look dangerous already, looked at me with wide eyes open, before narrowing them. 
"Are you sure?" 
I nodded. Trying to put on the purest expression possible. 
"Yes, sir."
"Those bastards! Did they give me the wrong address? " The stranger studied his piece of paper before tossing it onto the passenger seat. He took a last glance at us, before closing the window.

"Oppa, you lied," said the dwarf when only the car's rear light was dimly visible. 
"Get back on. We have to tell Dad!" 
And be prepared to move again in a cloak-and-dagger operation. 

"I can't believe this! Why are you doing this to me?" Naon stood outside Hoseok's apartment door, heart still pounding loudly. "I hope you realize that I'm no help to you if I have a heart attack!"
"I already told you I was sorry," Hoseok's voice sounded like a scared little kid being read the riot act by his mother. "I still have to get used to being a ghost."

"Where's the spare key?" Naon gave him an annoyed look, at which point he pointed at the doormat she was standing on. 
"Are you serious?" 
"Where it's most dangerous, it's safest," he replied, clearly proud of his secret hiding place. Naon bent down and lifted the mat. Sure enough, there was a silver key underneath waiting to be found by a burglar. 

The door opened without any resistance. As if he was still alive, Hoseok followed her closely through the open door. The moonlight brightened the dark room. Naon flicked the light switch to the left of the entrance and a neat living room greeted them. The walls were plain white with no paintings or pictures on them. A large, grey sofa upholstered in finely woven fabric stood against the wall to the left. In front of it was a small glass salon table, on which several magazines, sample sheets of different fabrics, and newspapers were displayed. She could imagine him leafing through the magazines, feeling the fabric samples, or reading the latest news from the newspapers and enjoying the nightly view with a glass of wine. 

It was strange to step into the home of a deceased person. Despite his presence, Naon felt like an intruder. 
She took a few steps into the apartment and closed the door behind her. To the left, a long, dark hallway led to three more rooms. Probably the bathroom and two bedrooms. 

"Are you sure you want to give it all away?" 
Hosoek was still deep in thought. He didn't answer her question. Instead, his gaze wandered around his apartment. With one hand, he stroked the shelf as if to check if a layer of dust had formed in his absence. But his hand wandered straight through the rack. How must it feel to be stuck in a state where you could no longer make a difference? 

"I appreciate your help. I couldn't have cleaned out all the crap I've accumulated over the years," Hoseok smiled at her. "At least I can make someone happy, instead of letting this stuff gather dust." 
At that moment, she hoped that he would reveal his true feelings. Grief, for the life he now had to give away. Or remorse, for all the things he could still have experienced if he was still alive - Anything, instead of that "I'm okay"-smile. His cheerful and selfless nature that she appreciated when he was alive was getting on her nerves. 

But didn't she pull the same stunt for the past few weeks? How many people did she annoy with precisely this kind of smile?

"Where do you want to start?" Naon picked up a magazine that was on top of the pile on the lounge table. 
"Just that box back over there for today" He pointed to a cardboard box lying at the bottom of the shelf. "There's some research on potential business partners in there. Jimin could put those to good use."

Naon went to her knees to pull out the box filled to the brim with handwritten notes. As she straightened up, she noticed a small golden trophy sitting on a shelf in the corner. She knew that Hoseok used to play tennis. But she didn't know that he had received an award for it. The scene at the cemetery came to her mind. She remembered how the older man held the medal tightly in his hand and carefully placed it on Hoseok's grave. 

Without further thinking, Naon grabbed the trophy. The little golden man with the tennis racket in his hand, weighed far more than she first thought. She wiped the marble base and turned the inscription to the front.

'2nd place: Jung Heesung'  

"Jung Heesung?" 

"Please put it back" a dark shadow appeared on Hoseok's face. The friendly tone that was getting on her nerves a moment ago was gone. The black layer of fog surrounding him also grew denser and the temperature dropped drastically. The light in the room began to flicker. 

He held up an arm as if to grab her wrist. The freezing coldness ran through her body.
"I said put it back," he said again in a calm but commanding tone. But this time, it sounded like a threat. The light flickered even more, and his eyes were fully buried under the dark shadow on his face. 

It might be her imagination, but it looked like her wrist was turning blue. She took a step back to get away from his reach. With shaky hands, she put the cup back in its original place. 
"I didn't mean...", she tried to explain.
"You've done enough for today." His voice changed completely. 
"I see" Naon bent down and quickly lifted the box, "I'll put the box in Jimin's office."

Hoseok had now entirely disappeared under the dark layer of fog, completely unresponsive. With a loud noise and the last few flickers of the light bulb, the room was surrounded by complete darkness. Without waiting for his response, the heavy box in her arms, Naon ran out of the apartment on shaky legs. This time, however, she decided to take the stairs without hesitation.

Previous Chapter
Overview