My aunt dropped in for a few nights. I had many things to get done to keep the rhythm of the home and be ready for guests. My aunt is VERY critical, so I geared myself up. I was still doing my homestead chores when she arrived. The first words out of her mouth were all that education to end up living like Little House on the Prairie. The kids scattered as though they were readying for the water bucket, Yes, my godmother is a difficult woman. My husband whispered, "I can see why you have often said let's leave Cammie with her for tea." I made fresh homemade pasta, fresh pesto, and grilled chicken breasts. I made a salad. Dessert was Angel food cake with homemade whipped cream and raspberries.
My Aunt immediately began speaking to me in French. She was floored that both children answered her back perfectly. Our daughter has learned to set boundaries about the things SHE is not comfortable talking about HER birth mother and my mother. She did so politely tonight. My Aunt said, "Well, in my day, children were seen and not heard", I told her that didn't work so well for our family. Our children have a voice. My Aunt drilled me all through dinner about my mother. I ended up having to take a walk. I made the excuse that I needed to bring the cat food back to my neighbor's kittens. Our daughter joined me. It is well known that I was a strong-willed child, teen and woman. My daughter asked me how I dealt with my godmother growing up. I smiled and confessed to a lot of tearful door slamming, My parents would have never allowed me to say I am not comfortable talking about that topic.
We returned home and I set about clearing up the kitchen. My Aunt remarked why aren't the children doing chores. Well, the children had a full school week and we have state testing next week. I always give the kids time off with heavy weeks like this. The kids decided to go the tiny house tonight ad watch movies. My Aunt brings a lot of baggage to the room. My husband reminded when Aunt when the children were not present that I was the only one in the family that stood up to take our children in when they needed a home. It is the first time in my life that my godmother was speechless. My husband smiled and said, "Now, that is unpacked, we can have a nice visit or I will get you a hotel room." Well, she left. "I never thought you would let a man speak for you." She remarked as she left. " I walked her to the car and I told, " I learned that it is okay to let my husband lead. He is taking care of me because I have had a very stressful week. This morning, I made the mistake of talking to my mother. She cycles with me being the daughter of the year and the wicked witch. It is painful for me and I don't deserve it. I have to work behind the scenes to make sure her health improves and she has a decent, safe place to live. You realize my mother has no interest in her grandchildren. You can only reach out so many times and be ignored so amny times. I wished her safe travels." I dropped my desktop to mailed by UPS to my oldest daughter.
I had planned to have a nice visit with my godmother, however, she is stuck in old ways and patterns. I served her a nice meal. I didn't feed her dysfunctional behavior. Our daughter learned that we support her setting healthy boundaries with others about issues that she finds upsetting to talk about.
