Today we're featuring a piece by our own Sarah Aswell, who writes so thoughtfully about her divorce, particularly about the parenting plan she and her soon-to-be ex had to fill out. She says, "If you file for divorce when you have kids, at least in my state, you're required to fill it out together, forcing you and your soon-to-be ex to plan out the care of your children. The parenting plan was the thing that made my partner step up and take on 50% of the household and childcare responsibilities." And it doesn't stop there. "It took the same parenting plan for me to realize that if I really wanted to lift my mental load and lighten my invisible labor, I needed to let go of control. In the course of filling out this document, and having the difficult but productive conversations that it required, it occurred to me that this was an exercise that probably would have been useful to us when we were married." The document lead to a lot of fruitful conversations, ones they never had while still together. Maybe it could be instructive for you, too, even if you have no plans of getting divorced. |
