It was one year ago yesterday, on September 7, 2020 that Jamie Edgar Eckles III entered eternity. While doing some research about him recently, I was shocked to learn that there wasn't an obituary on this wonderful, caring, and unique human being. Unfortunately, this happens more often than it should, especially with precious souls that fall through the cracks in our communities. This remembrance was created from 10 years' worth of Facebook Messenger interactions between Jamie and me.

I know very little about Jamie's upbringing except that he grew up in a wealthy family, along with several sisters named Liz and Cheri. In his early teens, his parents sent him to Missouri Military Academy, Mexico, Missouri from the 7th through 11th grades:

"So it really doesn't take a whole lot to please me. I've been wealthy – raised that way. If I end up making a lot of money that's fine with me, more than fine, but it's not my goal in life. I've already experienced that and saw my father be constantly miserable as he tried to pursue more wealth to take care of the rest of us, only to end up dying from the disease of addiction because he didn't take care of himself, spiritually and mentally."

I first met Jamie when we were in Company C (Band Company) at Missouri Military Academy for several years together. Along with the rest of the band members in 1976, we were part of the state of Missouri's officially designated Bicentennial Drum & Bugle Corps. Jamie was a percussionist and I played a baritone bugle. We were also in the concert/marching band and swing band together. These were under the direction of the legendary Paul Cherches, who played with all of the greats of the Big Band Era of the 1930s and 1940s.

In high school and as a young adult. Jaime struggled with substance abuse. The only reason I mention it at all is that he was proud of the fact that he overcame the struggle and stayed clean for the rest of his life:

"You know I had to leave MMA in March of my senior year because I decided to participate with my roommates in getting high at of all places the Presidential Classroom for Young Americans. I resisted the first 2 nights, but I'm an addict, I gave in. then I almost got kicked out of the USAF for pot. Just about lost my job with the USPS because of it, but I went into treatment at the VA on the 8th of Sept 1987 (I count the next day because, of course, I got high the day I went in) and I've been clean ever since (and that includes alcohol)."

(Until his death in 2020, Jaime stayed clean for 33 years. In fact, while I am writing this on September 8th, his clean date is 9/9/1987. Tomorrow would have been his 34th anniversary if he had lived.)

After his years at MMA, Jamie graduated from Germantown High School:

"I wanted to get my ROTC credit so I finished my senior year in the Germantown HS Air Force ROTC. Would you believe that because of my military school experience they made me a first lieutenant? I went from a corporal at MMA to First Lieutenant. I almost didn't return the first salute because I was so unused to people saluting me."

After graduating, Jamie joined the United States Air Force. His field of expertise was Telecommunications Operations:

"You should have seen me drill the flight. The old USAF Sargent trainer who asked me to drill them got a real kick out of them trying to keep up with someone who knew drill & ceremony. Because of my time at MMA, I made Honor Graduate in USAF Basic Training."

After his stint in the service ended, Jamie worked as a mail distribution clerk for the United States Postal Service:

"Twenty-three years (with an 8-month break) working at the Memphis Bulk Mail Center was a very good paying job with wonderful benefits, but I was NEVER happy there – quite the opposite. Going from clocking in at 4 am and keying thousands of parcels could never compare to waking up around 8 or 9 and taking my time to wander downstairs to open the store at 10. Close at 6, and even hang out at the main store (where I would drop off things to be worked on) for an hour or so until time for my home group to meet. I have never wanted to hang out at a job before. I couldn't run out of that BMC fast enough each day."

As previously mentioned, Jaime had some struggles with substance abuse. However, after he kicked the habit, he not only stayed clean but also faithfully attended Narcotics Anonymous meetings for the rest of his life. He also helped the local store out as needed:

"Eight months later I got my job back at USPS. In between those months, I was asked by a friend of mine in NA to work at a store he was setting up in West Memphis as a satellite of his radio and tv repair store he was buying from the owner at that time. I think I was the happiest I have ever been doing that. I even moved in above the store to an apartment that was for rent. This is where I ended up losing everything in the fire a couple of years later. I haven't forgotten those 5 or 6 months that I worked for James managing that store. He was paying me enough and I was very content. The idea was for me to eventually do what he did and buy that store from him and own it. I was even about to enroll in some electronics repair classes. One thing I've always warned my sponsorees about is working for someone in the NA program. I didn't take my own advice and watched James go through 2 terrible relapses, the second caused the original owner to cancel his deal with James. God does watch out for me because that same month I got my job back at the USPS."

By the time that Jaime and I reconnected thanks to Facebook in 2009, his life consisted of online projects. Most of the time he was answering surveys for LifePoints and others. At times he was also a games tester. Jaime was also generous with his time and talent and I found him to be a very capable researcher. In fact, he was so well-read that he was a formidable debater when he wanted to be. He was a recognized expert in managing conspiracy theory and paranormal websites:

"If you really want to set up a conspiracy or paranormal board, I want to see something where skeptics and believers alike are welcomed. Most boards aren't like that, they are either one or the other. A level playing field is what I would like to see achieved and I think it's doable. GLP was close but the paranoid owner was constantly suppressing info about himself or the site and while that probably drove traffic it also leads to a lot of bans."Over the past 11 years, Jaime was constantly debunking "fake news" and pointed out to me at different times that these generally ran in cycles:"BTW, I just watched an interesting movie called "Walker" from 1987. He apparently spent time in Ensenada (Mexico) when he attempted to set up the very short-lived state of Senora. Most of the movie was about his time in Nicaragua and it's a political piece since at that time our POTUS was supporting the Contras. It's strange to watch a movie about a figure from the 1850s and see a couple of his enemies reading an article in People and Newsweek The director threw those anachronisms in to illustrate how we've been down this same road before. In case you're ever interested here's the movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096409/"

Jamie was always generous with his time in the things that mattered most to him, people, pets, and causes:

"Since Thanksgiving this year, I am now the Arts & Graphics chairperson for the Volunteer Regional Convention 31 that's to be held here in Memphis. I'm almost finished with our main flyer (waiting for the entertainment committee to provide me with details to plug into it.) but I still have the program guide, tickets, formats, and readings for the workshops along with a few various and sundry items to work on. One of the great things about doing this job is that when the convention starts on Nov 27th my job is basically done. Of course, I'll probably switch to helping registration or with merchandising. One year we lost our programming chair and I stepped into that on the 2nd day of the convention. Of course, none of us on the convention committee get paid for doing this. It's how we give back to the Fellowship of NA."

Early on after we reconnected in 2009, Jaime was a fan of my projects and also one of the first members of the newly formed, secret Facebook group, Wex Development Team. In fact, he was so excited to be a part of this that he proudly displayed it as a job for a time. But, I polled the membership on entrepreneurial business ideas that were near and dear to their heart. Jaime had two of them:

"You do a great job of whipping up opportunities from scratch. I love your plans. I probably should have asked you first, but I updated my profile to reflect that I work for the Wex Development Team now. If that's a problem, let me know and I'll remove it. Paul Smay and I are going to chat about our ideas for a logo tomorrow night and should have some preliminary ideas by next week's meeting. God has something planned for me. Just don't know what it is quite yet. I think I'm at least on the right path working with you and the rest of Wex.

For my first business idea, I am rather partial to the name Miles High Memorials. (Jaime's basic idea was to send up our pet's ashes and release them in the upper atmosphere as a final bon voyage.) I haven't looked into the exact costs, but the materials would involve a weather balloon and helium tanks, as well as whatever altimeter, triggered release mechanism is used (unless it's as planned, through the balloon itself. I need to double-check on the claim that it will burst at 80 to 85 thousand feet.) The only big expense would be for a couple of cameras if they want a video record and a tracking device to find the cameras when they come back down. The latter could involve doubling the cost.

Since you asked me about my dreams, I sort of sold myself short. I do hope one day to be able to open a Memphis-style BBQ place out West – preferably Boise. I think there's a big enough market for it there. I went there for a get-together and smoked a shoulder for them. They had never had something like that and loved it. I left it to smoke and told our host to put some wood on the fire and drove up into the "hills" (I'd call them mountains)."

Jaime struggled with some major health and weight problems over the years. In past conversations that we had, he thinks that this started during his years in the USAF, even though by his own account, they are hard to prove. While he was legally disabled and only lived on $7,000 per year, he never railed against God or the government for his lot in life. In fact, Jaime was grateful to the Veterans Administration for the help that they gave to him, even though the VA could and should have done a lot more:

"If the VA ever finishes my case, I'm planning a trip to Mexico and then to LA to visit my cousin. A stop by where you live is on the agenda."

Below are some final words of wisdom from this salt-of-the-earth, precious soul:

"The years of recovery I've had have taught me one main thing – anger and hatred only hurt the angry and hateful."

"Keep interested in things that require learning and you'll be good."

"That's beautiful and all, but it would bring more joy for them to show up at a soup kitchen and do that, while serving food to the people." (After watching a Christmas-themed "flash mob" performance at a Chicago area shopping mall.)

"I'm not a bigot. I have no use for religion but as long as someone doesn't put theirs in my face or try to tell me what to believe in, I respect their beliefs. I'm happy being a Deist and I have a very close relationship with God. I believe in the teachings of Jesus. It's actually a shame that I know Christianity better than many who claim to do so." (Truth.)

"Oh yea, I also learned in recovery that the past is what I've done, it's not who I am today."

Jaime, where you are today is with the God and people that you loved so much. You had one of the purest hearts for others and for animals that I've ever seen. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if you were helping someone out with this or that as I finish writing this remembrance. Enjoy your time in paradise. You have earned it old friend.

Until we meet again!

Anthony Cota

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