Table of Reviews

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins - Review

Snake Eyes - Budget Unknown - 2 hours and 1 minute

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Twenty years ago, a young boy lived in a safe house with his father.  In the middle of the night, the father woke up his son and told the son it's time to leave, but the father wasn't fast enough.  The father instructed the young boy to hide.  Men came into the home and surrounded the father.  The leader gave the father a pair of dice and made the father roll his fate.  The role landed on snake eyes.  Before the leader could shoot, the young boy came out of hiding and attacked.  His father told him to run and hide. The young boy hid in the woods and heard the terrifying sound of a gunshot.  Then, the leader set the house on fire.

Now, the young boy is an adult that fights in underground battles under the name Snake Eyes.  When people stop betting against him, he moves on to a new town.  After watching Snake Eyes win, Kenta approaches Snake Eyes about joining his crew.  Snake Eyes plans to leave, but Kenta promises to find the man that killed his dad.  Four weeks later, Snake Eyes works at Kenta's docks, hiding guns in gutted fish.  One day, Kenta pulls Snake Eyes off the line to deal with a traitor, and the traitor is Kenta's cousin Tommy, the leader of the Arashikage Clan.  Snake Eyes sees honor in Tommy and refuses to shoot.  In a bloody battle to leave, someone stabs Snake Eyes, and he passes out.  Later, Snake Eyes wakes up on a private jet with Tommy headed to Tokyo.  Since Snake Eyes saved his life, Tommy will give Snake Eyes a home and a chance to join his clan.  The Arashikage's security advisor, Akiko, warns Tommy about the outsider because she can't find any intel on Snake Eyes.  But Tommy doesn't listen and presents Snake Eyes to the Arashikage leader and his grandmother, Sen.  She agrees to let the outsider take the three tests, but if Snake Eyes fails, he will die.  During the test, Tommy unveils Kenta's new plan to ship weapons.  He, Snake Eyes, and Akiko infiltrate Kenta's hideout and find the guns.  The Cobra logo is on the boxes, which floors Tommy.  Tommy tells Snake Eyes that Cobra is a terrorist organization, and Snake Eyes can't believe it.  Tommy calls Scarlett, a G.I. Joe, for more information about Cobra.  Scarlett believes that the Baroness is in charge of the Tokyo Cobra Operation because the Baroness landed in Tokyo a few days ago.

After a day of training, Snake Eyes takes Tommy's motorcycle and goes to an underground bunker.  There, Kenta waits for Snake Eyes and his intel about the Arashikage.  However, Snake Eyes is furious because he never knew Kenta worked with Cobra.  Snake Eyes wants no part of terrorism, but the Baroness has other plans.  She comes out of the shadows and tells Snake Eyes that she has his father's killer stashed away.  Snake Eyes has three days to execute Kenta's plan, or she will let his father's killer go.  Kenta wants Snake Eyes to break into the Arashikage's vault and steal the Jewel of the Sun.  With this jewel that the Arashikage swore to protect, Kenta can use it as a weapon.  Once Kenta gets his revenge on the Arashikage, Kenta will give it to the Baroness and make Cobra the deadliest force in the world.

This movie blends eye-popping action, spellbinding storytelling, and worthwhile lessons in two hours without boring the audience, relying on a love story, or unnecessary male or female sexualization.  While it doesn't follow the comic to the letter, this film is more enjoyable than the other G.I. Joe movies (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  The plot doesn't force the humor, the choreography is clean, and the actors display the character's growth or downfall with great conviction.  While this movie has such blaring positive aspects, the backing track causes the dialog to become garbled.  So you will miss some critical information about characters.  IMAX and 3D are not necessary to enjoy this film, but Dolby can help.  And stay past the first set of end credits but not to the end.

I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars

Everything we want in life comes at a price - Kenta

That's not creepy at all - Snake Eyes

I serve no one  - Tommy

He better or I'll kill you both - Baroness

Let's just say our goal are temporarily aligned - Scarlett

You wanna know how I got this scar? - Akiko

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The Protégé - Review

The Protégé - Budget Unknown - 2 hours and 0 minutes

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In 1991 Vietnam, Moody walked into a room to find four men dead and a pile of cash.  As he gathered the money, he heard a noise coming from inside the closet.  With his gun drawn, Moody opened the door and found a young girl, Anna.  She has a weapon pointed squarely at him.  She pulls the trigger, but nothing happens.  With tender ease, Moody grabs the gun, unjams it, and gives it back to her.  He urges her to put down her weapon and escorts her out to safety.  Thirty years later, Moody and Anna live in London.  She owns a bookstore but works with Moody whenever he gets a job.  Moody and Anna are assassins, and they find and kill evil people beyond the reach of the law.  On Moody's 70th birthday, Anna gives him a Les Paul Flying V guitar.  While Anna notices Moody has a bad cough, she doesn't offer help nor advice.  After playing a tune, Moody takes Anna to his underground bunker, takes out the hidden flash drive in his necklace, and plugs it into his computer.  It contains the last known whereabouts of Lucas Hayes.  Moody tells Anna to find Lucas, but don't kill him.  She takes the information to her tech guy and waits to hear back.  At the bookstore, Anna gets a customer, Rembrandt, looking for a rare book.  But it's worth millions.  She offers an alternative, but it's still too much.  Rembrandt finds Anna intriguing, so he gives her his business card.  A few days later, the tech guy has a detailed folder for Anna.  She takes the folder to Moody's home but finds the maid dead in the foyer.  She walks around the house to discover signs of a struggle.  Then, Anna finds Moody dead in the bathtub.  Next, Anna finds the tech guy dead in his hideout.  Anna goes to her bookstore to get her passports and cash.  Before she can leave, hitmen shoot up the store.  Anna escapes and believes Lucas Hayes is the reason Moody is dead.  In Anna's eyes, Moody didn't save her life.  He gave her a life.  She will do anything to anyone to avenge his death.

This movie is action-packed from beginning to end with quick humor and intelligent writing.  A lot of work went into the hand-to-hand combat actions to make them as realistic as possible.  Also, fans get the sexiest fight scene since Mr. & Mrs. Smith.  Anna is MacGyver with Beatrix fighting skills (FTC Affiliate Disclaimer).  This movie doesn't spend too much time in the opening scene explaining Anna's past.  They leave it for the end.  You can see the exact moment Anna's mind snapped, and killing was her only option.  This riveting tale of murder, money, and mayhem will leave you wanting a part two or, at least, an end credit scene.  While you don't get the latter, hopefully, we can get the former.  See this one before someone ruins all the action-packed wit. 

I give it 5 out of 5 stars

Did you do all that - Moody

We find people who can't be found - Anna

She has exquisite wrists - Rembrandt

You owe it to Moody to stay alive - Billy Boy

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