Or a day that capitalism took from "Hey, let's start some Christmas shopping" to "I wonder how many riots are going to break out?" My brother and I used to go out on Black Friday, do some window shopping and get gift ideas, and have lunch somewhere. Not these days, pandemic or not.

Thanksgiving was good, even though everything seemed off kilter and wrong all day. Food was fine, as evidenced by the amount my brother ate, but I felt like I'd managed to fuck up everything after the cheese plate. The stuffing was watery, the potatoes didn't appear to make 6 servings (their 6 servings is for people who don't like potatoes to begin with), I completely forgot about the beans, and I didn't even get near the rolls, as I just had a feeling they looked cooked on the outside while still raw on the inside.

Turkey was good, though, but I missed the house smelling like roast turkey. (OK, roasted garlic & butter.) Next year I'll definitely see if the butcher shop can do a bone-in turkey breast vs a whole turkey - this year they were even advertising that they could season them for you...which would save me the "get up early to do the brine" step. If I could just avoid that panicked, "Why can't I find a damn decent sized turkey breast" trek all over town... (Lily also prefers the home roasted turkey, LOL.)

I'm going to blame the pandemic for all of it.

I don't know what media coverage is like elsewhere, but all I've heard this morning is coverage of the new variant out of South Africa. We barely know anything about it, and frankly, I don't like this coverage, cause while it *may* be bad, we just don't know, and I think this panic laden coverage just doesn't help.

Our local cases are spiking back up again and with the post-holiday travel surge that is guaranteed to come around, we'll be back at high transmission by the start of the month - and no one will change their behavior and I know damn well our current Governor isn't gonna do shit - he gave up last May, nor will the new one.

Also discovering that in Europe you can get a 20 pack of the rapid home tests for like, $5 (if not fucking totally free) - while a pack of TWO is $25 here (if you can find them) - that was depressing. The US is a failed fucking state, indeed. Some *states* are offering free rapid home tests, but that should be happening on a FEDERAL level - we shouldn't be at the mercy of state governments on this one, especially in states that don't give a fuck about the fact that these are unaffordable for some folks.

Until the day I die, I will never understand the lack of will to end this - from ignoring all the problems with vaccine equity worldwide that could have easily been resolved by the wealthy countries in the world, to doing things on a state-by-state, everyone is on their damn own approach here in the US.

None of it had to be this way. I know we couldn't have saved everyone, especially in the early days when we were still figuring out what we were dealing with - but it never had to be like this. 629 days since the first cases showed up in our county and we're still utterly in the shit. Because no one is asking for vaccination status, and our vaccination numbers are totally stalled, I can't assume that anywhere is particularly safe.

I've made a few concessions for my mental health - haircuts while vaxxed & masked, the occasional leisurely-ish trip through the Hallmark store or Target, and met up with some vaccinated friends on Wednesday night (which turned out to be nerve wracking and not particularly enjoyable despite it not being crowded.)

I'm as good a hermit as anyone, but this is quite shit and I am so very over it. I feel like we've just been left to fend for ourselves by leadership and our communities. You'd think being vaccinated & boosted and whatnot, I'd feel better, but I absolutely do not.

I'm angry and sad and tired, and I'm running out of interesting distractions.

Angry stomping eagle
Me going on a stupid walk for my stupid mental health