Yesterday I posted about 8 Ways to Handle Unwanted Christmas Gifts.
I slept on it, and now I feel like I need to publish a correction, as I've changed my mind about one of my items.
Item #1 of my original post was:
1. Thank Them. Yes, thank them as convincingly as possible to avoid anyone feeling bad about it. At least, that's what I do. Anyone opposed to faking-it in the moment to spare feelings and to maintain the Christmas spirit?
But upon further reflection, I'm quite disgusted by that answer and I believe I've led you all astray and I feel compelled to re-write it to say instead:
1. Refuse It. Some gifts are inappropriate and cross boundaries. It would be toxic to accept and encourage such a relationship in its current form. Acceptance of the gift can also give mixed signals. Some examples of how it can be in your best interest to decline a gift would be a romantic gift from someone you've no romantic interest in, or a romantic gift from your boss or a married friend, etc...
Definitely, one of my character flaws is that I always try to protect other people's feelings. Usually at my own expense. I'm trying to different now by being an advocate for standing up for ourselves when necessary and this may be one of those moments.
Some people out there are predators and seek to spread discomfort and harrassment, while others are just plain clueless and mean no harm. Whatever the case for the inappropriate gift, it does not matter. Setting clear boundaries is the only way to put yourself first and to prevent the underlying issue from continuing.
I know I may seem incredibly paranoid with this post, but I've been in these situations before and I handled it with politeness. My politeness at the moment was taken as permission for the predator to continue. So if I had a do-over, I would refuse the gift. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.
I don't wish this situation on any of you! But if it does happen to you, I hope you remember that refusing the gift is an option for you! It may be awkward, but it may also be necessary.
Have you been in a situation like this before? How did you handle it?
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