How to be a human?
It was 7 am, Friday. Her breath was heavy, but her mind was empty. As empty as her room.
They said, when you're getting older people starting to forget about you. But this year, she kind of liked being forgotten. It was a bizarre time when people lost of sense on how on being a human anyway.
She jumped into her dad's white old car and drove to downtown to her Sheila's place. She had wrapped a several packs of rice and chicken in the banana leaf this morning so she and Sheila could give them to the homeless. Nope, not trying to look good, but giving away food was become her new routine this couple of years. A change or perspective about special days she made years ago, instead of receiving, you give.
"Happy Birthday Bitch!" Her cousin yelled with her sparkly eyes and a small piece of cake with red candle when she walked through the door. Her cousin knew, Sienna hated her own birthdays. But she bought a small cake anyway.
"Thank you", Sienna tried to be polite and blow the candle without saying any wish.
She walked into the kitchen to put the cake in the fridge while she heard her aunt calling her. "Hey, are you going to give food to the homeless today?" She looked at her aunt's long veil while nod. "Don't forget to mention your name to the homeless, so they would pray for your fortune".
They said the prayer of poor people is efficacious. God hears the prayer of unfortunate people, so if you give them food in return for a prayer that would be good. At least that's what her aunt believes.
Why it has to be for our sake every time we give someone something. Why it's not for the sake of the people we give? Sienna gave people food because the homeless need it. Not because she wanted them to pray for her, or even wishing for a heaven in return. It's not her business. If anyone should pray is her and other people who are more fortunate than these homeless, so their life would be better.
She lives in a weird society where selfish people are just wanted to get credit every time they're do 'kindness'. What kindness even mean?
Suddenly a memory of a friend came into her mind. When she texted her that they would send her a shoes. "Wear it, don't sell it" A simple sentence that broke her fucking mind. Why would she sell it? "I want to treat you with a nice shoes, but I am afraid you would sell it, cause I want you to wear them".
Were these words even surprising in a world where giving things means you need to upload the picture on social media and tag them so the whole world know that you are a generous friend?
Dear human, just keep it whatever it is that you want to give, if the only person appears in your head when you want to give them is yourself. Do them some kindness, keep your dollars and pride on your pocket. While we can all re-learn how to be a human again before our big head and heaven and internet.
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