I have something to say and I am not sure where to say it, so I am just going to say it here: I see people talk about refugees and asylum-seekers who have "integrated so well" are "doing so well" "got this or that education" and how "exceptional" they are and it's REALLY really bothering me.
PEOPLE WHO DO NOT DO WELL STILL DESERVE TO LIVE AND THEY STILL DESERVE TO BE TREATED WELL!
It personally bothers me because I know what trauma can do to your body and mind. If I had to flee this country and had to resettle somewhere else I would NOT be doing exceptionally well or anything. I would be STRUGGLING. Like I am already struggling - only more so because then I would have a buttload of yet MORE trauma heaped on top of what I already have.
My boyfriend is struggling. He speaks the language really well, but he is scared to use it, plus my language is hell on foreigners with all the different accents and dialects. He has a high school diploma and started university back in his country, but there's no proof. All his diplomas are gone. So he'll have to redo school starting from grade EIGHT! Grade EIGHT, people! That is extremely frustrating for him and doesn't exactly help him feel better about himself. Currently he's doing language classes and doesn't have a job yet because of that and that's all that people see when we're applying for apartments for him, "Oh, you don't work? You must be lazy/not worth much/not hard working/etc." He is sometimes depressed. Sometimes he is angry. Sometimes he's REALLY struggling.
He is not "the perfect integrated refugee" although he is really really trying. And it makes me angry when people ONLY talk about the well integrated refugees.
I am not too far away from the Ukraine war. To be honest I am a little scared that Putin will go even crazier and there'll be no one to stop him and that maybe (not really believing it but who knows!) we'll be refugees some day. I mean - nobody knows what the future will bring. If it's not Putin, it might be some other reason. And I wouldn't be the prefect refugee. I would be struggling. Even worse than my boyfriend is struggling now - because, I AM ALREADY struggling more than he is!
Does that mean I don't deserve to live and resettle somewhere else? Does that mean I don't deserve basic human respect like so many other people don't get because they're not "perfect"?
It just bothers me.
We focus so much on the exceptional people that the others, the ones who are struggling and having a hard time doing anything ... well those very personal and mostly extremely painful stories get lost.
A lot of people think those stories don't count. Or even that they're made up. Every human story counts. They just do. It is our personal histories that bring us closer together - and I wish the narrative weren't "Only the exceptional ones are worth mentioning".
I needed to say it somewhere. So here it is.
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