rachelramdhan posted: " Photo by PrathSnap on Pexels.com The title of the blog post says it all - this is thirty. The big three zero finally arrived in the midst of all the chaos and somehow managed to turn out better than I ever imagined. I kid you not when I say better " Musings of the Mind
The title of the blog post says it all - this is thirty.
The big three zero finally arrived in the midst of all the chaos and somehow managed to turn out better than I ever imagined. I kid you not when I say better than I ever imagined.
My regular readers will know that I've been going through some stuff over the last couple of months which basically tanked the two year blogging momentum I gained. I've promised that I'd tell you what was happening and going on in my life and I think this post is the perfect one to do so.
Before we go any further, if you've missed these blogs, you should read it to understand what my state of mind was like over the past few months:
I started the year with very high hopes career-wise. I started my job two years ago without senior management but within those two years I saw tremendous growth and development for myself career-wise. I thought this year would have the year that cemented and locked in my career path for the rest of my life - I would gain the experience and exposure I wanted, I would be able to make definite decisions about my academics.
I had it planned to a T.
But I believe there's a saying that goes something along the lines of we plan and God laughs. He really did laugh.
I found myself in the unenviable position of the job that I loved turning into something I absolutely dreaded. It was a nightmare. Regardless of how much I tried to find the positives, I just couldn't. All I knew is I wanted and needed out, no matter what the cost.
What compounded the need for me to leave even further was Kevin and I had begun the process of obtaining our place. Even though we were married, we decided to split our time between our families so our resources would be focused on our one goal. During this entire time the only thought running through my mind was my contract ends next year and I honestly have no idea what will happen. Everything was 50/50. To make matters worse, every time I thought about the end of my contract, I'd be filled with a heaviness and dread.
While I had my personal issues going on, Kevin's car got stolen. Even though we were able to retrieve the vehicle afterwards, we're still waiting to get it back into our possession. The stress of everything surrounding the vehicle, the timeframe to get it back, and alternatives in the interim added more anxiety on us as individuals and as a couple.
Further to compound this, when we thought at least getting our place was going according to plan, we ran into a major hiccup which delayed the process by a further month.
During the last few weeks I've cried tears of anger and frustration. I've vented and quarreled. At one point I gave up on everything and told myself to hell with everything because nothing was going right.
The way things were lining up, the dread of turning thirty increased. There were still some things going according to plan and after an honest sit down with myself I decided to focus on the positives, the little things. I proceeded with that mindset from that point on.
How did I spend my birthday?
I had planned my thirtieth last year and it definitely didn't go according to plan. As I said earlier, we plan and God laughs...just this time both of us were laughing.
I spent my thirtieth birthday knowing that this Instagram post below came true for me and everything I wrote above that I was worried and anxious over is no longer a concern.
I am sitting in my kitchen, writing my blog post, listening to music in the background thanking God and my lucky stars that all of life's moments has lead to this moment.
This is thirty.
THE END
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