The issue of marriage has always been about the supremacy of genders and the argument has always been religious or cultural
The fact is argument on both side are valid, with every marriage having its own unique personality impacted by the individual players. A cheating spouse in a Christian marriage is more likely to get called out than a cheating spouse in a non Christian marriage, this is because Christian faith advocates polygamy. Compare that to a Muslim or African traditional marriage which allows polygamy and actually expects the wife to support the husband's effort to acquire more wives
Would we also compare the Indian and African marriages, in Africa, men bring dowry to the woman's family while the reverse is the case in India. How has this impacted the gender roles in the marriages. The African cultures argues that by bringing the dowry, the man has autonomy over the woman, but despite the process reversal in India, the man still holds sway in the marriage.
My summation is that every marriage is unique and no one book, no one counsellor, no one code can hold up your marriage.
For any marriage to thrive, communication is critical. You have to understand that there is no boss regardless of what your faith or culture says, marriage is teamwork. And the only way a team can work is to have member roles well defined.
Thank of it as a board of trustees made up of two people and the project is your home. So now, you have to decide who gets to drive, draw up a chores schedule, time for personal activities and stuff like that. If you are leaving that to your faith, culture and non stakeholders, you could have your superchef husband opting to eat out when he could be home cooking while you are doing laundry .
Don't let the cultural or social media narratives fool you, some women are better at fixing stuff around the house while some men would cook up a storm and come out of the kitchen looking like they were your missing dessert toppings
Don't buy the hereditary problems of your past family members marriages, sit with your spouse and re package yours to be the success model for you because it's custom fit for both of you
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And by the time kids come into the picture, it is your established brand they would see, giving them the strength to chuck the template that is making many homes barely tolerable for even the couples involved
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