I was reading of a grandmother who planned specific activities when her grandchildren came to visit. She'd plot a course and assemble supplies. Some of their endeavors were simple, some elaborate. Her grandchildren looked forward to whatever fun event would be happening at Grandma's house that day.
The last time my only grandson, Timothy, stayed with us without his parents, we sat on the couch while he showed me his toy and told me about it. We talked about a number of other things. He broke into spontaneous, imaginative play while we watched and commented. And I wondered, "Should I have planned something special to do together?"
Sometimes we might do a planned activity, but usually we're pretty laid back. I'm sure the activity-planning grandparent probably has low-key times with her grandchildren as well.
There are no right or wrong styles of grandparenting . . . well, setting aside negative examples of abuse or neglect. But how we interact will depend a lot of personalities, circumstances, energy levels, etc.
However, most Christian grandparents want, above all else, to be a godly example to their grandchildren and to influence them for the Lord.
Sometimes it's difficult to know how to do that. We're not with our grandchildren all the time. Teaching them is primarily their parent's responsibility. How can we have the best influence?
I've only been a grandparent to one child less than a decade, so I am not an expert. But observations of other grandparents plus my own reading and thoughts have resulted in these ideas.
Engage with them. Sometimes we bring our grandchildren into what we do: gardening, baking, fishing, riding bikes, and so on. Sometimes we enter into what they like to do, whether playing games, coloring, building with Legos, or going to a playground or children's museum. One of my favorite memories with Timothy involved boxes of Little People toys saved from our kids' childhoods, especially the Grandma and Baby figures. Once a stray dinosaur had gotten tucked away with them. We had the dinosaur chasing Little People all over the place.
However we go about it, we need to spend time with them, get to know them, and let them get to know us. We would do this anyway just because we love them. But we also aren't going to be able to speak into their lives without that underlying relationship. If our only interaction with them is didactic, they're probably going to avoid us.
Pray for them regularly. Pray for wisdom in being an influence to them.
Point out God's hand in creation and circumstances. One friend is a master at this, regularly pointing out God's creativity in the sky, insects, even onions.
Share how God has worked in and through His people. Deuteronomy 4:9 says, "Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children."
Share personal stories. This is something I wish I had done more with our children. School, Sunday School, and Awanas focused on doctrine, so at home we dealt more with character development. But doctrine and character are integrated, and both are personal, not just academic.
If parenting instruction is more "caught" than "taught," I think grandparenting influence is even more so. Sharing how God has worked in our own lives, leading us, and providing for us, helps them learn that God is personally interested in us, a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). In Deuteronomy 6, God wants "you and your son and your son's son" to fear Him and keep His commandments. He wants families to "talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise" (verses 2-7).
Most of us aspire to be like Timothy's grandmother, Lois. "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well" (1 Timothy 4:5).
We want to share "things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done" (Psalm 78:3-4).
May God give us grace and wisdom to share Him with our children and grandchildren.
Happy Grandparents Day! If you don't have biological grandchildren, you can still show love and speak truth to those in your sphere of influence.
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
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