Sometimes we all need a minute…. A minute to step away, reboot, reset, scream, something to help us get back on track.
During the pandemic we felt differently about work, social gatherings, and life in general as we all navigated things in our own way. At times, it crept up on us (think frog in the pot of water that slowly heated up), and we may have not realized what we were experiencing. Recognizing that something felt off is a huge first step in being able to course correct.
During this time many of us reached for a coping mechanism in an effort to weather the storms of life that presented themselves in a new or different way. For ABDLs, many of us reached for a diaper, stuffie, blanket, or other object that helped us balance our emotions. During the pandemic, and even after, we struggle to incorporate hobbies and activities that we enjoy into our prioritization discussions with ourselves and those around us.
In an article I recently read I found it interesting that they stated that, "When we're feeling stagnant or stuck, we often neglect the activities that are relaxing and bring us joy." Upon introspection I realized that I have done this before. There are times that I withhold diapers from myself (even when I know I am denying myself of something I know can help me). I hope I'm the only one that does this, but I am afraid that is not the case. Especially during early progress of discovery, understanding, and self-acceptance I struggled to allow myself to wear. I had to work through a space of time that I called "normalization" where the stigma or initial shock of diapers existed. I continue to help myself realize that they are a tool (one of many) that I can leverage in working towards my best self.
One of my tools that helped in this process was journaling. My blog is one of those journals, but it is a powerful tool we can use to see progress and self-introspective moments. I was able to get thoughts and emotions out onto a keyboard, and better understand what I was experiencing inside. It also provided a way to look back and see what progress I had made. I encourage you to leverage journaling as a method of reflection. In the vein of journaling and reflecting it is very important to remember to ask yourself, "what's going well?" We often focus on the negative, and need to allow ourselves to see the good that is occurring.
When we feel stuck, depressed, or emotionally stagnant we search for the quick fix or immediate relief from what ails us. In my own life, inside and outside of diapers, long-term and life-changing success comes from small and daily decisions/actions. I often use running as a parallel, and building distance and endurance in running took time and commitment. Acceptance with diapers was the same. It took effort, more intense effort than I'd anticipated, to really move the needle of self-acceptance. I'd ran away from diapers and how I felt for so long that I really didn't know what I was getting into until I began to allow myself to explore what was going on (it obviously was not going away after 30+ years).
There's a term "death by a thousand cuts" that is often spoken when discussing how we slowly are defeated/overcome by small things that suck our productivity and life out of us. If we could turn that concept on its head I think it is also by a thousand small steps (goals) that we can stand on a new foundation for our lives.
Also, remember that you are you. You are not anybody else. Sounds simple right, but I bet you have Instagram or another social media platform that shows the very, very best of people living the best life ever. You, I, and everyone else has at one point looked at those posts and measured ourselves against those "perfect" moments. Life is not perfect, but can have beautiful and "perfect feeling" moments. Even in the ABDL world there is these comparisons. Some ABDLs have supportive spouses, and some don't yet. Some ABDLs have dollar bills to afford the printed, expensive ABDL diapers (also seen on Instagram) and others don't.
Remember, you are you. You are not anybody else. Comparison can be good, but dwelling is bad. We can leverage the experience of others to help us build our own plans for how we will attack life. My road is different than your road, and my shoes I walk on that road are different than yours. Try hard to avoid overthinking and dwelling, and focus on what you have within your own sphere of influence.
Take a moment, take three of them, to be mindful.
Source: https://www.refinery29.com/en-au/getting-out-of-a-rut
Photo by Black ice
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