Rebekah Faith posted: " Photo by Isaac Taylor on Pexels.com I used to love mud. The feeling of it squishing up between my toes gave my 8 year old self much delight. However, let that mud touch my hands and I was done playing and begging to be hosed down. I liked the mud wh" Rebekah Faith and Family
I used to love mud. The feeling of it squishing up between my toes gave my 8 year old self much delight. However, let that mud touch my hands and I was done playing and begging to be hosed down. I liked the mud when I was in control of it only, when I knew it would stay beneath me and not be on me. These days I'm not a fan. It brings stains I can never hope to remove in clothing of my little princes, paw prints in the carpet, and a level of slippery I never imagined could be so dangerous. Now, I quite often find myself walking through metaphorical mud to solve problems. Mud is not fun anymore.
Jacob knew about mud. He walked through it when he tried to restore his relationship to the brother he had tricked and cheated out of his birthright. Messy family forgiveness-mud he had created. Moses too walked through mud, scary mud, aggravating mud, leading a people out of slavery and into the promised land, teaching them how to live set apart all along the way. Jesus, fully understanding the fate awaiting him, chose to mix mud for healing, walk in the mud of relationship with his disciples, and the mud of loving all of the marginalized people and the sinners enough to hang out with them, and be falsely accused and tortured to death. The mud is the space that is not easy, not always clear, and is often very messy in between the beginning and the culmination of a journey. Often there is mud on the other side as well, just different mud.
It has been over a year since my last blog. I was reassigned to a new position in a new town. The responsibilities are completely different along with my daily schedule. That in itself has been a challenge, a muddy place-not bad, but messy. I find myself longing to write music. However, I'm really unsure of using any of it. Just believe me when I say it is a bit complicated... at least in my head. So for the last year, I have been mostly standing on the edge waiting for God to artistically direct or to push me in a direction.
Prince Philip is so supportive of my dreams and aspirations, passionate about putting me forward, content to push play on my accompaniment track most days. It sometimes catches me off guard. I was moving headstrong into one path of interest that was stopped in its tracks just as I thought it was going to take off. I was stuck in the mud I thought I would soar through on the path that had very little to do with the creativity I have been gifted. I realized while stuck in this mud that it was settling for something less than, no not "less than," other than God's best. If I die without getting a doctorate and setting the world on fire somehow with what I learn, that is far less painful, not even a blip, than if I die and all the music and lyrics inside of me just die too. I need to share them with whoever will listen, not because I am an amazing lyricist, or even vocalist, but because I am supposed to share them. And now I am back to the mud, slogging through the beautiful muddy mess of life as a Jesus-following wife, mom, pastor, and educator who also happens to be exploding inside with more music than I will ever be able to write and record. So when I feel like the soggy mud is up to my chin, I will hand it back to the Potter to mold, to shape, to rest, to make something beautiful from the sticky, dirty mess.
In the meantime, hold me to it! I will be making new music soon. I do not have a clue where it will land, but it's coming as soon as I can get it out.
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