Dear Snarky,
Several years ago, my mother-in-law died tragically from cancer. The entire family rallied around my father-in -law.
Two years later Dad decided to seek out companionship and began dating - we all supported his decision. He met Cathy and they are in a serious relationship and live together.
My problem is she's a lot. The type of person who knows everything about everything and determined to tell you about it. Whether it is the cows on the side of the road, your job, or even how to parent your child And her opinion is the right one. If you offer a different one she will get very defensive and upset and talk over you until you give up.
It doesn't matter how big or small a thing you are discussing. And she never stops. There is a constant stream of chatter. It has resulted in a couple of us having a few heated discussions with her over the years.
So, I need the Snarky community to give me some ideas on ways to cope. Particularly because we are planning a vacation with some other members of the family to go to Africa for safari in 2025 and my husband really wants to include Dad-we know it is something Dad has always wanted to do and this will most likely be his last chance to go.
I am afraid I will want to throw Cathy to the lions by the end of the trip. Cathy has never been to Tanzania or South Africa and yet she will know everything about everything- all the animals, the country, the local culture, etc. Heck, I expect her to try and correct the guides.
So instead of being excited about the trip, I'm dreading it a bit. It is a very expensive and far away to go - just to spend it in a constant state of dismay and irritation. Maybe I should take up meditation? Help me Snarky, you're my only hope.
Desperately Seeking Earplugs
Dear Earplugs,
You're screwed. Cathy is never going to change or so much as edit an iota of her behavior. At this point in her life she probably thinks she's got the best personality ever and is beloved by all. So, if she goes on the family vacation be prepared for a non-stop monologue from the "expert." And, of course, you do know that your dad will not join you on this vacation without Cathy so that's a nonstarter.
The only smidgen of a solution that I can see is that you arrange/urge/pray for Cathy to spend some time with her family while your family is in Africa. Perhaps you can reach out to them and tell them about the family trip to Africa and suggest that maybe they surprise Cathy with a little one-on-one family time with them. If this happens perhaps your dad will be comfortable going on the trip without her knowing that she is with her family.
Do I think this is going to work? No. I have a feeling that Cathy's family is relieved that her care and personality is now being enjoyed by a different family.
***
If you're looking to escape the know it alls in your life I recommend the soothing and solo activity of reading. I also highly encourage you to give my my books a read. 📚If you haven't read the FIVE Snarky books please take a 👀 lookie-loo or a 🎧listen by clicking on this link. https://linktr.ee/snarkyinthesuburbs 😍
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