A little over two years ago my wife called me her "diaper wearing husband." That conversation and moment was a big step for me as I continued to learn to love the diaper-wearing side of myself. I didn't realize it at the time, but in between our conversations about ABDL and me my wife was experiencing lots of small steps of growth as well. It took her a long time to let me know that during the time that I was wearing and learning and growing that she was too (minus the wearing part).
The longer I have walked down the path of self-acceptance the more I have pondered on what it must be like for the spouse of someone who wants to wear diapers. Many conversations on the Discord server are focused around the various stages of talking with your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, family, or friend. These conversations are very unique with so many different factors to consider. It was hard enough for me to find a semblance of understanding within why I might want to willingly choose to wear a diaper (let's not even venture into my little side at this point) myself. The thought of how I would try to share that with my wife six or seven years ago would've felt life an impossible task to achieve.
I am thankful that through building a foundation of trust with my wife I was able to begin down a road that was rocky at first, but has smoothed out over time. It is still a curvy road with ups and downs, but through open and honest communication we have been able to navigate how we both feel in a way that has worked for us. I have seen growth and deeper understanding of what ABDL means to me in many facets of my life.
I am:
- A man who chooses to wear adult diapers
- A father who chooses to wear adult diapers
- A husband who chooses to wear adult diapers
In each of these capacities I've been able to find a deeper reason where diapers have been able to help me be a better version of myself. Through balance and adulting (The irony is not lost on me here…) I have found a way that diapers can be present in my life. I can be a father or husband who wears diapers. The diapers don't define me, and they don't limit me in the mind of my spouse.
My amazing wife has taken my padded butt by the hand, and we continue to journey through life together.
I want any spouses or people dating someone who wears diapers to know that diapers are only a part of who we are. For me, diapers are a hug. They are a method in which I can manage the stress and strains of my life. I have spoken with hundreds of ABDLs at this point, and the vast majority of us are professionals that span so many different professions and skill sets. We are IT developers, doctors, bankers, librarians, technical writers, church leaders, mechanics, construction workers, and so much more. We have found that diapers do not limit who we are.
I continue to learn and grow with diapers as part of my life. There are moments I look at the man in the mirror, and see him diapered and wonder why I am the way that I am. Why diapers? Why ABDL? Why?!
I've also heard so many ABDLs say that they wish they had something else, perhaps ANYTHING else in their lives besides diapers. Some call it a trial, and some call it even something more negative and self-destructive. We must change our view of what diapers are to us. We must find out deeper why, and I can tell you that I couldn't have done it without the help of my superhero spouse.
To the ABDLs: learn, embrace, and work towards accepting diapers as a positive tool in your life. Dig deep for the reason why you reach for them, and I can promise there is almost always something deeper than the reasons that often bring us so much shame. Some of us have a sexual connection to diapers (kink), but it is NOT my primary driver or reason for having diapers in my life. I have learned my "why" through normalization of adult diapers in my own life allowing them to make me a better human being.
To spouses/partners: please be kind. I hope you are reading this, and I hope you are trying to understand something that may have felt like it came out of left field from one of the closest people in your life. Please understand how much you mean to them. They shared this part of themselves with you which I can promise you was NOT an easy task. I hope and pray that you can please afford them the love and compassion they deserve as they are in a very vulnerable place. You will make ALL the difference at this point. Also remember that it is a marathon, and not a sprint. This may take time, and like all good things it is okay that it does.
If you need a sounding board at this time I offer my ears or chat window. Please reach out via email or social media.
Be kind. Be kind to yourself, and be kind to each other.
We are more than the diapers we wear.
Photo: Stanley Morales
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