It is hard to not enjoy the wholesome goodness that is Ted Lasso. I could definitely do without the language, but I have enjoyed the storytelling and altruistic approach to life that Ted Lasso has. Late in the first season it humanized the main character in a way that let you know that while he gave off a very "Mr. Rogers" vibe in approach to life he was very much still human with his own demons/struggles/worries.
The show further delved into mental health and the struggles that many of us work through while trying to maintain a facade or wall or shield up for our adulting and professional lives. While we all do it in one form or fashion, people with an affinity or desire to wear diapers put another layer of complexity on their lives. We battle between multiple "versions" or parts of ourselves, and which is acceptable to exist.
(I feel saying public and private here is both an oversimplification and misrepresentation of what it means to live with being an ABDL. I wanted to type it multiple times, but I do not think it is the right way to represent what I am. While I do not publicly display this part of who I am and scream it from the rooftops, I do wear a diaper while in public as part of who I am. I am not overt in my ABDL, but I am striving to be more self-accepting and self-understanding of when/how/where I wear.)
In the latest season of Ted Lasso one of the characters struggles with a similar conundrum of living two separate lives, and wishing for them to be able to be the same. This episode sent me back to a post I'd written the year before about Trying to live two different lives."
In this episode Colin is "found out" by another character, and provides an effective support system for someone struggling to keep part of themselves private. One of the largest areas of support and growth I've received have been other ABDLs who have helped me see the real life experiences of ABDLs in action. I have been able to see that we are all very different in how we navigate life in diapers, and their support of me as a person struggling with something very real to us made a world of difference.
Might we all be as lucky to have a Trent Crimm in our lives. Also, might we be the Trent Crimm in someone else's journey.
Every day we make choices of who we will present to ourselves and the world. Some days will be better than others, but the more we are able to accept and embrace ourselves the less we will have the additional internal battles waging inside of our soul. I have found peace in accepting a part of who I am that was for far too long a shame-filled and guilt-ridden part of my life.
Will I still have challenges? Absolutely.
Am I having those struggles today? Sure am.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do—not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I choose today, and hopefully as resiliently tomorrow, to persist. I will persist in doing, and loving myself a little more each day.
Those two lives, as Colin wished for, can be closer together than they were in the past. The crinkle in my step is less novel than it once was. Rather than a timid exception to my life, it is part of what can make me more wholly the me that can help myself, my family, and those around me. I will continue to crinkle forward.
Crinkle with Confidence
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