Why did God have to bless me with the gift of writing (without giving me the gift of understanding computers)!?
This morning I was trying to download the Microsoft Teams app on my "new" computer. Catholic Mom is my main writer outlet for my faith-oriented articles. I publish a monthly article on Catholic Mom.com. Several months ago, they started using the Team's app for article submission. I couldn't get it to work on my iPad, and my tabletop computer was too old to update, and/or install newer applications. My poor editor has had to "let me in through the back door," by way of continued e-mail submissions. I had to complicate her life with my "non-techiness." So today I went to work trying to download Teams. I immediately went into a techno brain fog, with actual physical symptoms of my thought processes shutting down, while my head felt like it was filling with helium. If you've never experienced the double-whammy of brain fog & anxiety, you simply cannot relate. My husband cannot relate. He tries to get me to do stuff on my own, so that I will figure it out. However, about 30 seconds into the process, his voice became the sound of the grown-ups in the old Charlie Brown specials, (Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!), and my brain cells reacted by running away as fast as they could go.
I don't even know what is going on up there, but when it hits, I begin a deep dive into head discomfort, dizziness, anxiety, and unresponsiveness. This is a symptom of my autoimmune illness that has really ramped up in the past several months. I'm having pain right now, in the back, right quadrant of my brain, as I type this post. Fortunately, blog posting is much easier than article submission, at least for me, but the pain is still left-over from earlier today. I sometimes write articles for other magazines (and even some that pay!), but those have always been submitted by simple emailing, for both the article and any photo illustrations I submit, so I have no problems with that. If these symptoms continue to plague me, I might have to give up writing (i.e.computers) all together. It's a plan that I'm seriously considering, but not willing to adopt just yet. In the meantime, I will continue to do my best, keeping up with my blog as well as I'm able (while reminding myself not to "cheat" on my AIP diet anymore, because my recent actions seem to have had quite a negative effect on me…live & learn). My body is serious about me switching to a more healthy lifestyle, and is apparently not going to let me get away with any little cheats! Good thing it's Lent, because suffering is easier to embrace during the season of Lent. (But, come Easter Sunday, I am going to be packing my own food! Beans mostly, and maybe a green smoothie, and no desserts or any of my favorite holiday consumption of Mimosas. Darn it, anyway!)
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