So... the stepson is graduating from college this May! Woot!
However, he is now moving back home. He was living with friends for about a year, but now those friends are changing their lifestyles by accepting jobs in other cities and getting married. The stepson feels like he can't afford the place by himself (true) and he doesn't have other friends that he can roommate with to split the costs, so he's moving back here.
If the move back home was part of a bigger picture and a temporary step towards a bright future for him, then I'm all for it.
But that doesn't seem to be the case.
He hasn't been looking for a post-college job. He doesn't have a resume prepared, letters of recommendations, or references ready. He works part-time at a golf course, which is better than nothing. But it was a job he first got with his friends in high school, and his high school friends have all moved-on to better jobs since then, even way before graduating from college. So now he works with current high-schoolers, because that is the skill-set level of that job.
The last time he lived here full-time was only a year ago. He was an adult, and he didn't have any chores or bills or responsibilities and spent all his time online-gaming in his room. He skipped that year of college completely and only left the house to go to his part-time job with high-schoolers.
I'm expecting him to be the exact same way when he moves back in. And I don't feel comfortable enabling that lifestyle for a grown adult man with a college degree.
It feels like more responsibility for ME - more bills, more groceries, more adults to feed, more dishes to clean, more people to share household resources with like the laundry machines.
My husband is perfectly fine with his son being here full-time with no responsibilities. He's already started making excuses for him, like, "Things are more expensive now, he can't afford to be on his own." I do agree that things are more expensive now, but I feel like he should be looking for a better-paying job and a full-time job at this point. And I feel like he should have a social life beyond online-gaming so he can meet real-life friends that he can share a place with and split bills.
And I feel like he should be contributing to the household while he is here. He definitely has WAY more free-time than I do, and he can take a break from his online-gaming to take care of chores. And I'm perfectly ok with him not paying bills here so he can save money for a place of his own, but that's not happening either. We're already receiving deliveries here from Amazon of his new gaming system and equipment and monitors and sound system and flashing multi-colored led lighting for his room. Because you know, #adulting.
My husband already disagrees with me about all of the above. He says that I'm selfish and trying to make his son uncomfortable in the home so that he will leave. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. I want him to be a productive human being.
So it's a stalemate.
What do you all think? Am I being selfish?
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