As yesterday progressed, I found myself engulfed with a sense of anxiety that eventually manifested itself into a full-blown panic attack. Honestly, sometimes I can be dumber than dirt, and it occurred to me mid-day that I could be in a world of hurt.
I know that damage can occur to one's eyes if they view an eclipse without the proper eye wear. My problem rested in the fact that I could see nothing through my eclipse glasses. Looking through them the view was totally black.
I could not see the sun through the cloud cover. Consequently, on Monday I discarded the eclipse glasses to see what I could see. My field of vision was very limited because of the clouds, but I did see well enough for a second or two to snap a picture of the eclipse, though it was a distorted view.
Yesterday, my blurry vision was a source of anxiety. Had I permanently damaged my eyes? I did a Google search that didn't lessen my anxiety. Reportedly, "damage from the eclipse is unlikely to cause pain or discomfort in your eyes because the retina does not have any pain nerves. Instead, you will notice visual symptoms withing 4-6 hours."
I should have left well enough alone. I also read: "Once retina tissue is destroyed, it cannot regenerate, resulting in permanent central vision. I know something about that. Several years ago, I had surgery by a retina specialist to smooth out the wrinkles in retina in my left eye that was distorting my vision. I go for a checkup once a year.
I'm always told that I'm doing just fine even though I can't read any of the letters I am asked to read from an eye chart with my left eye. Thankfully, until yesterday I managed just fine with the vision in my right eye.
I complained about my eyes off and on all day yesterday. The General assured me that it was allergies. She was having the same issue. Last night, I experienced a full-blown panic attack. We sat down to watch a movie and I could not read the closed captioning.
Honestly, I thought maybe we had selected a foreign language. From my field of vision, it looked like Greek letters to me. I questioned the General and she was having no difficulty with the script. She assured me that it was written in English.
That's when it undeniably hit me like a ton of bricks. I had damaged my eyes! To say that I was heart sick is an understatement. I was amid a full-blown panic attack. The General told me I needed to call my eye doctor the first thing this morning.
I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, I still couldn't read the script, but the letters seemed a little clearer. The General and I changed sides of the sofa. I could see the movie just fine, but I could not read the closed captioning. In addition, due to a hearing loss, I also wasn't clearly processing what I was hearing.
I reminded myself not to forget to breath. I was not in a good place. Heart sick is probably the word that best describes my condition. For whatever reason, at some point I removed my glasses and experienced the sense of jubilation that blind Bartimaeus must have experienced after Christ restored his sight. I could read everything on the screen clearly without my glasses.
I was both thrilled and at a loss. It was then that the General noticed the glasses I had been wearing were not my glasses. They were her readers. Yesterday morning I placed my glasses on the nightstand on her side of the bed while I did exercises for my leg. I obviously picked up her glasses instead of mine.
All My Best!
Don
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