When the parents' dreams became, the child's, BIGGEST, nightmare! And yet, this man still, overcame his parents' expectations, and found his own, place, and he's now, thriving…translated…
The Two Generations, Ran around in Circles, Living in the Expectations Placed on One Another, but Kept Having Those Expectations Bursting, Caught in the Expectancy-Disappointment Cycle, Continued Their Lives in Upset, Leaving All Those, Traumas That Simply Can't, Be, Resolved……………
I'd met a man, with a degree from Stanford, who'd driven an Uber for a living. Had it not been him who'd mentioned it to me, I couldn't, have even, imagined, how it was, the world, of a child, growing up in the household with, two excellent parents that they couldn't, surpass.
The man's parents are both Jews, graduated from the top-notch famous schools, her mother had been found to be a genius since she was a young child, with excellent memories, and, it'd been told, that she could read ten volumes of books, and, absorb, and apply all of what she'd, read; and in the school, she'd skipped the grades, all the way, into her higher education years, as she'd begun working, she's at the top of the pyramid of workers, a senior surgeon, on the board of trustees of the hospital where she, works. Her father, is a higher up manager of a medical system, also, a prestigious doctor in his field.
And, as imagined, the man's older siblings, all followed their parents', footsteps, all became, outstanding, medical professionals. While he, the youngest, had been average in performance in school, looked, ordinary; but he'd, loved music, and his parents were, willing to help him in it, but, considering the job outlooks for his, future, they'd still hoped, that he could, go into, medicine, to have the similar beliefs, and values as the rest of his, families.
Toward his parents', glorious achievements, from when he was young, that goal set for him, became, a far-fetched, fantasy, which turned into enormous pressures for him, and his, self-abasement, after he'd understood, that he could, NEVER live up to the expectations of his own parents, that he couldn't, possibly, satisfy his parents in scholastic and work like his, older, siblings had, he'd started, carrying that attitude of carelessness toward everything, given up on working, hard, to the point, that he'd joined up, with a, local, gang, until he saw the members of his gang, getting killed on the streets, that was, what turned his, life, around.
illustration from UDN.com
He'd eventually, followed his parents', plans, gone to the high-end school his parents set him up in, and, his grades were, at the bottom of his, class, but his parents didn't care, told him, that after he got his degree, nobody would care what grades you'd made, told him to, grit down hard, and just, get through it all. He'd finally, made it, to the interning stage of his proposed medical career, but he couldn't, withstand the high-pressure environment of the medical field, and, melted down, completely, given up on this, high-paying career, with a bright and, promising, future.
And he and his parents broke too. As he moved out to stand on his own, he'd followed his therapist's advice, to find a religion that fitted him, he fell into the world of, meditation, and got introduced to Uber from a fellow follower of the religion he got into, he'd found, that the money made from driving Uber, is about the same amount as working as an intern in the medical field, he'd begun his driver career, and he was getting better and better at it by the days, and had the spare time to develop his interest: a career in music, with the gigs offered to him and his band, he'd started, earning, the extra, incomes.
What's worth mentioning, was that compared to his background in medicine, that gave his passengers' that ease of mind, this was one of the things that gained him the excellent comments as he'd begun his career as a driver, and, so, you can't say, that all his hard work in school was, for naught—it's just, from the views of layperson's angles, people would feel, that he wasn't, able to, put what he'd learned, to good, use.
graduated...photo from online
I can't help but wondered, if the thought of, "I want you to be better than I was" might get turned into an obsession? In the minds of the parents who are, excellent, the biggest obstacle to cross, in educating their young, is still, that standard which we defined, "excellence", by.
Or maybe, some of you think, had he only known, wouldn't it be easier, that he'd started, driving the Uber after high school? Wasting that much tuition, time, resources, and energy, the two generations tortured each other, living in the busted expectations of what the young can become, and the offspring not living up, which caused the traumas to the child. Thankful, the man didn't, stray too far, used his trial and error, found a fitting path for him, he's considered, blessed.
"Winning ourselves", this, may be the most important lesson, that we all, need to, work on.
and this was, what he does, for a, living...photo from online
And so, from this, you can see, how it's the parents' expectations of this youngest son of theirs, that's, made him live in misery too long, and he'd, run around in a HUGE circle, and, started, working as an UBER driver, and he got a, medical degree too, and, based off of the worldly interpretations, we may think, that if you were going to be an Uber driver, then, why the HELL did you go through medical school? But remember, the man didn't have a choice, his parents made him, and so, for the years before, he'd been, living in someone else's dreams, his own, nightmare, until he'd finally, found something he loved doing, and started, doing it, and he'd now, moved beyond trying to reach up and to surpass his own parents', expectation of WHAT he could, become!
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