This week Chris shares a tale of wow as he explains what he would with the 'Killer Klown' Franchise for Your Quarters Worth.
As a wannabe filmmaker there are some film franchises I can't help but wonder how I'd tackle if given the chance. One of these is Killer Klowns from Outer Space. I love the original film and I've had an idea for a sequel for years. With the release of the video game I thought this was the best time to finally share my idea with the world.
The Title: 'KILLER KLOWN IN OUTER SPACE'
As you may have figured out from the title this film would be very much inspired by Alien. Where that film's sequel upped the amount of Xenomorphs and thus became Aliens, this series would go the opposite direction just focusing on the terror of a single Killer Klown. I love a the classic' 'something's on the ship' stores with Alien obviously being the best example, but I believe Killer Klowns would fit this genre perfectly. I'll explain.
The Story:
In the distant future humans no longer live on Earth instead the last of humanity now lives on a space station call the Terramech. The Chiodo is an analysis ship whose purpose is to scout out any worlds that have the potential to become the new Earth. When heading back to the Terramech from another long and disappointing mission The Chiodo is sent on a detour when there is activity detected on a nearby moon that may suggest a sustainable environment. When they arrive all they find are the crashed remains of a ship the likes of which they've never seen. Amongst the wreckage they also come across the unconscious body of what appears to be a slightly disfigured man dressed as a clown.
They bring him on board much to the dismay of the medical officer Rose who has a fear of clowns. Rose immediately tries to get all the clown stuff off the unconscious body so she can do some more tests but she can't. After further analysis she informs the captain of the Chiodo, Captain Wayne, that the clown doesn't have human DNA and that its rainbow hair, bright white skin, and big red nose are all natural. While she reports this the Klown wakes up and encounters a crew member stationed at the medical bay to keep an eye on it. The Klown acts playful and starts doing the old "quarter behind your ear" trick but instead of finding a coin the Klown just rips the crewmember's ear clean off. The crew member panics and screams before choking on something. The Klown shoves its hand down the crew member's throat and rips out with a coin showing the crewmember in a "ta-da" like fashion. The Klown then leaves the corpse of the crew member behind and begins to wonder around the ship.
Rose, Captain Wayne, and another crew member Barney find the aftermath of the coin trick and Barney notices that there seems to be a slight trail of popcorn and confetti that may lead them to the Klown. As they follow it Barney's curiosity gets the better of him and he eats one of the pieces of popcorn. At first he feels fine but eventually his feet start to ache like they're too big for his shoes. Captain Wayne then lets Barney know that he's starting to look real pale. Barney gets nervous and runs to the nearest bathroom in a panic. while looking in the mirror he finds and plucks out a stray purple hair from his head. He stares at himself in the mirror and watches in horror as his skin turns bright white and his nose gets red and enflamed. He cries out when he touches his nose and it lets out a loud and silly "HONK!" He then begins to vigorously scratch his chest before ripping his shirt off and sees something growing out from under his skin. Suddenly the pedals poke out of his skin as a flower blooms out of his chest then begins squirting blood like a joke lapel would squirt water. Unable to cope with this transformation he reveals it to the remaining crew and tries to space himself but Rose and Captain Wayne prevent it so Barney finds a sharp implement and cuts his own throat.
The Killer Klown would then go about the ship killing or incapacitating the crew members. Eventually it is up to Rose and Captain Wayne to hunt the KIller Klown down. They find it in the bowels of the ship where it has cocooned other members of the crew. Some of them have been dissolved by the cotton candy the cocoons are made out of. Others are still being kept alive as the Klown feeds them pieces of popcorn then buries them deeper into the cotton candy.
Rose and Captain Wayne realize they've nearly reached the Terramech so they waste no time in attacking the Klown head on. It turns extra aggressive as they confront it like a cornered animal. It kills Captain Wayne and Rose realizes she's the only one who can stop the ship from reaching the Terramech and the Klown getting on board. She's able to get ahold of the Klown long enough to jettison them both out into space and she doesn't let go until they're both dead and frozen.
The Chiodo docks at the Terramech. All the welcoming team finds on board are popcorn, confetti, balloons, and bloody remains. What they find shocks them so they immediately call in for support before sweeping the rest of the ship. Down on the lower levels a couple of the Cotton Candy Cocoons shift and then break open with a loud "HONK!" END.
So, there you go, that's my idea for a Killer Klown film. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Would you see this movie? Do you have your own Killer Klowns idea? Are you in charge of the brand and would like me actually to make this film!? Let me know. That's your Quarter's worth, thanks for reading. Stay Geeky.
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