I don't consider myself to be good at public speaking. Even in a few interviews I've done, when I'm responding and not talking by myself, I don't feel I do well. I don't think quickly "on my feet." It takes me a moment to process and respond (which is one reason I like writing better).
The nerves usually calm down exponentially once I get started. But for days afterward, I think of things I should have said or could have said better.
But I want to be faithful with opportunities the Lord gives me. So when they come, I spend time in prayer while I prepare. It comforts me that Paul told the Corinthians that he had been with them "in weakness and in fear and much trembling" (1 Corinthians 2:3), though it probably wasn't public speaking itself that made him feel that way.
Hopefully, these skills will improve over time.
I told someone recently that these things would be so much easier if I could turn off the nervousness. But then I realized those nerves probably keep me dependent on the Lord, so ultimately they're good.
When we're asked to do something that we're not sure we can do, that feels too big for us, that isn't in an area where we feel gifted, it's almost instinctive to run to the Lord.
When we attempt something that we failed at before, we plead for and depend on the Lord's help.
When we know we might be facing a big temptation in an area where we're weak, we fortify ourselves with prayer and Scripture.
But what about the areas where we feel strong, where we feel our best gifts are, where we feel we can function well? Those things that we do without even thinking to pray?
It's not that we can't approach some tasks with confidence or the assurance that comes from experience. But we often forget we need God's help in those areas, too. Whatever gifts we have, He gave them to us. We don't hold them in perfection yet: we're still growing and learning. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).
One of the most chilling Scripture passages to me is the story of Uzziah in 2 Chronicles 26. He began to reign in Judah at the age of sixteen. "And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father Amaziah had done. He set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper" (verses 4 and 5).
The next several verses tell about Uzziah's victory in battle, his buildings, herds, crops, army, and machines. He was skilled in many areas. "And his fame spread far, for he was marvelously helped, till he was strong" (verse 15).
"But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense" (verse 16).
It's sadly possible to receive God's grace and help for a task and then get puffed up as if we accomplished what He wanted us to do on our own.
He forgot where his strength, gifts, and skills came from. His pride led to presumption. Only the priests were consecrated to burn incense in the temple. They withstood him. He got angry.
Then leprosy broke out on his forehead. In that era, leprosy required quarantine. He lived the rest of his days in a separate house, and his son reigned in his stead.
His situation reminds me a bit of Samson, who took his gifts casually and flirted with the wrong kind of woman who tried to find the secret of his strength in order to tell his enemies. When she told him the Philistines were coming for him, "he awoke from his sleep and said, 'I will go out as at other times and shake myself free.' But he did not know that the Lord had left him" (Judges 16:20).
Jerry Bridges said in The Discipline of Grace, "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."
Jeremiah 9:23-24 tells us, "Thus says the Lord: 'Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight,' declares the Lord."
I don't want to go about my tasks without God's power. I want to remember that I don't have anything except what I have received from Him. I want to be just as dependent on Him when I feel sure of myself as when I feel overwhelmed. I want to remember that every good gift comes from Him and is to be used for Him.
The prayer in the song "O Great God" is what I want to express for myself. The last stanza talks about living a life dependent on His grace, for His glory:
Some additional songs that help my thinking:
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
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