Losing a beloved, dog, that you'd poured your heart and souls into caring, that's never easy, and, grieving for the losses, will take even, longer, but eventually, you will, let go and, move on…it's just, that it's, never, easy, letting go of those whom we loved so, dearly, especially when we'd, raised them up from when they were, young, they'd stayed by our sides, given us the unconditional love and support we'd needed from them, and now, they're, gone…translated…
During that period of time, because of work, I'd shared with a younger friend my experiences of caring of senior animals. Normally, I'd not talked of the pains of my own pasts, because I'd felt, that there are rarely any with whom that would share my similar, experiences, so I'd kept all the sadness, to my, self.
these are the memories of how deep the love for them is...photo from online
I'd described that final passage of life with my pets using the adjective of "heart aching", as not just my stamina, my physical strength were put under the tests, I'd felt more of the pains from within my heart. To keep my elderly pet, Buddy who's already demented and incontinent, who's bedridden long term to still live on comfortably, I got stuck in the mud and the muck, separated from the rest of the outside world, and spent my days, repeatedly cleaning him up, flipping him over, cleaning up his wastes, and, sleep was coming and going too, and my emotions got strung along with his conditions bettering or worsening, and my mood swung with his condition getting better or, worse. And, this sort of a feeling, wasn't empathized by anyone else, and I got criticized, "is it worth it, that you're putting yourself in so much trial, for a dog?", without knowing, that the "self-imposed" in a person's observation, is actually the expressions of devotion and love. I knew that my dog will never recover, I just wanted to help my baby, to finish his final passage of life, as naturally as possible.
I'd originally believed, that with my love and my persistence toward my boy, I will certainly, have what it takes, but my health status, put on warning by my physician, and the vet told me, "if Junior keeps on dragging on like this, you will both end badly, give him a shot, and send him off now! To help you, move on with the rest of your life…."
As I hadn't gotten worse, give him a shot, so I can continue with the rest of my, life, this was, the biggest owing I felt toward my boy, I would not dare, nor would be willing to, touch the subject.
tattoed the loss on the skins, and the loss goes deeper into our, hearts...photo from online
ts the younger generation friend heard me disclose everything, he'd told me, "I'm on the outside of all of what you go through, I shouldn't say it, but, if I am your dog, I guess, I'm, more than, blessed." And, his words, made me crumbled completely, it'd, brought out the long-term suppressed sorrows, and the teardrops that came rolling out, filled up the holes inside my heart. I'm really grateful for an "unknown third-party", your words, made me feel, that I'm, finally, understood.
So, because of how much we loved them, as they'd become our, families, letting go is always going to be, difficult, and, we are still grieving over them, uncontrollably, because they'd been with us for so very long, and now, they're, gone, and we missed them like crazy, and we get stuck in that depressive state, and we can't, get out, but, if there is a person who'd, given us the shoulder to cry on when we are in need, that just might make us feel that we're, not alone, and we can, finally, let go, and move on…
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