Nurturing Relationships in Your Homeschool Family Despite a Hectic Pace
Nurturing relationships in your homeschool family isn't as automatic as it might seem because of one key reason. Just because we're at home with our kids doesn't mean we're WITH our kids. And nurturing relationships in your homeschool family won't …
Nurturing relationships in your homeschool family isn't as automatic as it might seem because of one key reason.
Just because we're at home with our kids doesn't mean we're WITH our kids. And nurturing relationships in your homeschool family won't happen if you're not WITH someone.
There are 7 lists a mile long we're racing to complete before dinner prep every day:
Building relationships in your homeschool family includes all your family members...
Your mom and dad get it: you're busy. You are in the family life phase so, of course, you're not available every day.
A nod to your friends who feel like family: they are also raising families so they get that they'll take what they can get and accept you're not always available.
Your partner gets it: you're both trying to do this together and keep your heads above water. That relationship can wait. Years if it has to. But you both subconsciously agree: YOU can wait.
Your kids don't get it: they persist. Mommy, finding quality time to connect with our children can be a challenge. However, these "eyeball-to-eyeball" moments are crucial for building strong, lasting relationships. Here are some practical strategies to help you incorporate meaningful interaction into your daily routine, ensuring each child feels seen, heard, and valued.
1. Scheduled One-on-One Time
One of the most effective ways to connect with your child is by scheduling dedicated one-on-one time.
This can be as short as 10-15 minutes daily or a longer period weekly, depending on your schedule. The key is to habit-stack your connection time.
What did I do? Invited one kiddo to hang out with me as we grocery-shopped. They could choose their preference for cereal, crackers, and a treat that week. After we were done, we'd go out for a special drink together.
This special time allows you to focus entirely on one child, giving them your undivided attention and creating a space for open communication.
For your consideration: You won't be perfectly consistent in maintaining this one-on-one time, and that's okay. Life happens. Flexibility is required. You're not a better mother if you maintain perfect consistency. Rather, your goal? To spend time doing it with irregular regularity.
2. Morning Check-Ins
Starting the day with a brief check-in can set a positive tone for the day.
"You cannot teach the mind before you have the heart. Connect before you direct," advises Dr. Gordon Neufeld. "When we connect with them before correcting behaviour or providing direction, it helps them feel safe and more able to process what we need them to do."
A simple question to ask how they're doing is all you need. When you do so, you allow each child to share their thoughts and feelings about the day ahead.
It's a simple yet effective way to show your children that their feelings matter and that you are there to support them.
For your consideration: I've learned this is also an effective way to gather intel. To learn where each child is at, to learn what they need, and to help connect the dots to their heart before you ask them to do anything and before they see their siblings. If they get what they need emotionally, they are more likely to give to others emotionally.
3. Meal Prep and Cleanup Together
Involving your kids in meal preparation and cleanup provides a wonderful opportunity for eye contact and conversation.
Unless, of course, they're teenagers. Then they might be unhappily washing those dishes, again. "Mom, how many times do I have to help clean up the kitchen"?
"I dunno, honey, about a decade and a half fewer years than I've had to do them."
These moments can be filled with laughter, learning, and bonding as you work together to prepare and enjoy meals. It also teaches valuable life skills and fosters a sense of teamwork.
For your consideration: Some days, you'll just be doing the mundane tasks of meal prep and clean up together. Though they aren't exciting, they will be part of your memory bank you create with the kids. Some holiday in the future, they'll volunteer to join you in the kitchen to tackle the optimistic menu you've created for their childhood memory banks. And they won't complain! They'll be happy to continue the traditions with you!
4. Read-Aloud Sessions
Of course, you know this one!
Some of my very favourite memories (& photos) include various books with various kids on the sofa in the Great Room.
These moments are so special that my teen and older kids still allow me time to sit with them and read together from whatever they're presently reading.
It is a fantastic way to bond with your children. Sitting close together and sharing stories allows for physical closeness and rich discussions about the plot, the characters, and the setting.
For your consideration: Including readalouds can be an irregular part of your routine (it doesn't have to be done like clockwork every day to be effective.
However, if you determine to include it right after breakfast with morning basket, or you include it after dinner clean and before the bedtime routine, you'll remember to do it. Though how are you going to forget when every homeschool parent talks about their readalouds all the time?
5. Project Time
Using project time as an opportunity for focused interaction can be very effective. Sitting side by side trying to figure out how to build a computer together (yes, this has happened to me, and no I didn't help build the computer after all) or helping her figure out how to create an Instagram account so they can build their slime making company, our efforts in connection time.
No, they didn't make a lot of money, but yes, they did build a sizeable account and many worldwide connections. And absolutely, much slime got stuck in the sink. Highly not recommended!
For your consideration: Don't script the project time. Let your children decide and you join them in it. Did I want to learn a few chess openings? No. Did I do it to connect with my son? Absolutely. Choosing to follow along in their interests will make them feel seen and heard.
6. Evening Reflections
Ending the day by inviting them to connect will likely garner your greatest connection time.
Even if you're past the "tuck everyone into bed" routine (and if you're not, believe it or not, that stage comes to an end!), you can make sure to hug them, tell them you love them, acknowledge something about them and why you're grateful for them before they head to bed.
Encourage them to share their highs and lows, and actively listen and engage in their stories.
For your consideration: These connecting moments add cash to your love bank. What's the love bank? Read more below.
"In a nutshell: With every person you interact with, you develop an internal emotional Love Bank. Each interaction you have with them either adds deposits to your bank account or withdrawals. Over time, your feelings for a person tend to reflect the number of deposits and withdrawals you have had with them. If most of your interactions are more positive, you will enjoy that person and seek to be around them. You'll also be able to recover more quickly when they do things that bother you. On the other hand, if your time with them is marked by conflict, turmoil, or other negative emotions, you can start to run a deficit in your love bank. In these relationships, not only do you seek to avoid them, but even minor annoyances become more amplified because your bank, or tank, is nearly empty."
You probably don't need to be told to engage in outdoor activities like walking, hiking, or playing sports which naturally promotes face-to-face interaction and open conversation.
You're more present. (Assuming you're not also glued to Instagram.)
These activities provide a relaxed environment where children might feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Unless of course, you've decided to take a three-hour hike to the edge of civilization, aka the ...with four kids under the age of 11 without a bottle of water. Then there is no relaxation for the weary. Just say no to outdoors without water bottles.
8. Tech-Free Zones
Designating certain times or areas of the house as technology-free zones ensures uninterrupted interaction. For example, making meal times and family gatherings tech-free can encourage direct communication and foster a stronger family bond.
For your consideration: Or you can set aside a day a week to be tech-free!
9. Game Nights
Building relationships in your homeschool family can always begin with game night.
It was our tradition for many years to play a game after dinner. If no one has introduced you to gameschooling, let me explain.
"Gameschooling provides a unique and effective way to educate children, combining fun and learning seamlessly. By playing games, video games, and creative game-based approaches, parents can tap into the inherent potential of games to enhance engagement, skill development, and overall educational outcomes. So, let the games begin, and watch your child's love for learning soar to new heights with the power of gameschooling!"
For your consideration: Playing games together can lead to a positive addition to our family memory bank, but at the moment, you might be navigating conflict and rivalry. (I'm sure you didn't need to be told that;)
What's your favourite game with the kids? I want to hear! Send me a message on the socials.
10. Encourage Emotional Check-Ins
Regular emotional check-ins can open up avenues for deeper conversations.
Simple questions like "How are you feeling today?" or "Is there anything on your mind?" or "So I remember you saying you didn't like...tell me more about that" or "What do you think about that thing we saw in the news? I'd like to hear your perspective".
For your consideration: Whenever you drive anywhere with a child alone, this IS the BEST place to chit chat. So do a road trip along with a teen, suggest your child wants to learn to drive, or just remember that this is the very best place for you to connect.
11. Be Present in the Moment
Being fully present during interactions is crucial. Avoid multitasking and show your children that they have your full attention. This demonstrates that you value their time and are genuinely interested in their lives.
Building relationships with homeschool family means you are definitely spending eyeball-to-eyeball time with them.
For your consideration: Practice mindfulness for your benefit and your kids. The more present you are more often, the more likely you'll make sure to be with your kids.
Head over to the post to access three meditation playlists.
Despite our hectic days and endless to-do lists, it's easy to overlook the most important element of our homeschools: the connection with our kids.
By incorporating these simple strategies into your routine, you will ensure meaningful interactions and deep family connection, making the chaos of homeschooling a bit more manageable and a lot more rewarding.
Join the "Eyeball to Eyeball: Building Deep Connections in your Homeschool Family" Workshop
Interested in learning more about how to connect deeply with your children? Join me for the recorded workshop: "Eyeball to Eyeball: Building Deep Connections in Your Homeschool Family".
Discover practical strategies to foster meaningful interactions amidst a busy homeschool life. Let's create a more connected and harmonious homeschooling experience together!
I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what's not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.
No comments:
Post a Comment