This past week I was at the hair salon. I was seated next to a woman my age. She was getting highlights. I heard her tell the guy "oh, not too blonde" and I immediately smiled like, seriously? My guy was busy getting the bleach to apply to my hair. I am a total people watcher, always have been.
I heard highlight woman complain to her hair guy about "the young people" she works with. That they don't want to work, they're not the same as us, blah blah. I'm thinking woman please…I have very successful young adult daughters and a son in law who are amazing and so hard working. So of course now I'm staring at her from my chair. Then she complains that her daughter is studying speech therapy in college. Of course my ears really perk up. Why the eff would a mother have anything negative to say about that?? My eyes are getting big. Highlight woman goes on to say and I quote, "I mean she'll be working with children with disabilities; I told her, go work in a hospital, at least you'll work with adults."
Yes someone actually said that in public and out loud. I was never so shocked and speechless in my life. Both as a mother of a special needs son and as a nurse who provides care to medically fragile, special education students. I began to feel anger. Like unreal anger. That there lives a breathes a woman/mother who possesses this point of view. I wanted to say something, speak up in the worst possible way. I wasn't afraid of confrontation, truly I wasn't. I was hesitant that I would lose control. I kept staring at this woman while the bleach worked its magic on my hair. She was seated next to me when we were getting rinsed and my skin crawled.
At one point I managed a very good look at her face to commit to memory. She was average looking. Nothing to stop traffic. But she had this self righteous vibe. And to top it off her highlights were like barely blonde. I mean come on if you're going to do something, do it right! After our hair was rinsed she was seated a chair away. I was glad, I really didn't want to be near her.
I read on Facebook; "In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that changed you." I immediately thought of my experiences raising Thomas. I thought of highlight woman. She obviously has NO experience or connection with the special needs population. I've been immersed in that world for 28 years. How does one relate to someone like that? A person so blind to people all around you.
Before I had children I was quite judgmental of parents my age. I said the same ridiculous things we all say before becoming a parent. Habits my child would never develop. Behavior I would never accept. The list goes on and on. We all know that list goes way out the window in a short amount of time after you become a mom.
I'm thankful I was humbled so greatly by Thomas. I view highlight woman as a person I could have turned into had it not been for Thomas. Being Thomas' mom is one of the toughest roles I've fulfilled in my life. There are more than a few experiences I wish never happened. But those experiences led to another chapter, growth and being humbled yet again.
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