It's her friend who'd, given her the unconditional positive regard, the needed support, and accepted her sadness, her grief, her sorrows, and her loss, and stayed by her side, to help her through it all, that turned her friend into, her family, and he's unrelated to her by blood! Translated...
M Came Towards Me in the Snow, Put His Arms Tightly Around Me, I'd Come to Understand the Meaning of "Friends are the Families We Choose"………
As the February 6, 2023 Turkey Major Earthquakes Happened, I was in the areas hit, collecting the stories of the Syrian refugees they were telling me by word-of-mouth. After the heaven and earth shook hard, I'd found my temporary residence in the international volunteer tents for two months, every morn, I'd gone out to deliver the needed resources to those whose lives had been impacted by the major earthquakes. It was really cold during the time, with the frost covering up the lawn early in the mornings, and the tents, the trees were all, covered in the snow as well.
By summer, I'd arrived to stay with a friend who lives in the Switzerland Alps, and my friend only knew that I'd just, left the region where the earthquakes had hit, didn't ask me anything else, only left a card for me to get my meals, and, allowed me to stay in a cabin that he owned. In the looking after of this friend, it took me several months to learn how to eat, how to drink my water, it's just that at night, I'd still needed the lights to turn all on to sleep, and would, waken up in cold sweat in the depth of, the nights still.
By September, the peaks on the Alps had the snow on them, I'd flown back to the region in Turkey again, wanted to see how the rebuilding is going. In the evenings, my friend texted me from his cabin in Switzerland, to have me wait for him, that he will, head into the earthquake regions with me. Two days later, I'd waited for my friend, in the outages that came constantly, in the airport, waited for my friend to come through.
The day following, he'd driven me to the burial site of the three thousand freshly dug grave three days after the quakes, I stood in front of one, picked up the sprinkler, and, watered the flowers that are growing close to the grave, and what came to mind, was the snow that was falling on the day, and the bodies lying dead, with the white cloth over them on that day, and I'd, started, crying, and, I can't, dry my cheeks, no matter how hard I'd, tried to. Not far off, a woman with a turban was wailing, heartbrokenly, another tragedy of a mother who's lost a child. And I kept on feeling survivor's guilt: why did I get to live? Why wasn't I the one, without anyone to love, to care about, who died, on that, night that the snow fell?
illustration from UDN.com
On the night of the earthquake, those of us who woke in a panic, and made our ways to safety, the first thing we all did was, text our loved ones that we are okay, but, my cell phone remained, silent, because I have, no families.
The winter came, the snow came down hard, I'd made a table's worth of New Year's Eve celebration meal, and the large cabin became, a home where more than twenty friends came to gather. Following, I'd, set an extra place setting, and explained how the Asians would put the place setting out for someone in the family who's already, gone.
In the effects of alcohol, I'd started, taking about my father, who is a jack of all trades, who'd passed a year, ago, that he'd not left a single word of, apology, behind, and died, and I, who'd never sat at a table for the New Year's meals for several decades on end, that extra place setting was, for him.
Counting down now, it was also, a night of snow on the night of the, earthquake too, I'd, opened the doors, walked into the snow, with my eyes closed, felt the snowflakes that fell onto, my face, the new snow now buried, everything, also, those lives that had been, taken by the quakes as well.
M came toward me in the snow, hugged me tightly, and I'd finally understood, how the saying of "friends are the families of our own choosing" made sense. I'd wrapped my arms around M, who'd stayed by me all the way, and knew, that I was, loved by a member of my, family, although, we are, not related by, blood.
M warmed up my icy cold hands, and said to me lightly, "Happy New Years!"
And so, sometimes, friends and acquaintances are, more like families, because they gave us the needed support, more so than our own biological families had in the past, that's why, we rely on them, for the needed support for the trials we are going through in our lives, and, they will, NEVER desert us, and because there's no blood ties, we lacked the expectations of how they should love us, whereas with families, because we are related by blood with them, naturally, there's that, expectation of love that's there, and that, is how we all feel, disappointed when our families can, love us the right way.
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