Everyone knows the phrase "It's better to give than to receive." Or to quote it more accurately, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:31
But do we really believe that's true? I don't think so. I think that if we really believed that, things like self-care, "me time", co-habitation, chosen childlessness, divorce, adultery and similar lifestyles would not be on an all-time high.
But to be honest, I'm not writing this because I see the world struggling with this. That doesn't surprise me. No, I write because I see myself struggling to live like self sacrifice is better than self-givenness. I was reading Philippians 2 recently where it says:
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
...and gently like the Holy Spirit does, conviction hit me straight between the eyes. It says DO NOTHING out of selfish ambition. That word ambition in Greek means "a desire to put one's self forward". In minutes I began to think of very real ways that I have fought to self-protect, self-indulge and self-serve. It's easy to make excuses. I have 4 little girls who are constantly asking for my attention! I deserve to buy extra clothes that I don't need on the side. You know, treat myself when everything else is demanding! My natural sense is to self-serve. I'm always looking for somewhere to pitch my tent and relax, especially when the cares of life are heavy.
No, purchasing clothes is not inherently wrong. Doing a good job working out and taking care of your body is actually a wise thing to do! What's wrong is when we feel the need to use those good things to self-care in place of God's care. Here's what I mean.
Psalm 56 is one of my favorite chapters of the Bible. It vividly describes David's overpowering enemies and his overwhelming fear of oppression. But he doesn't end by making excuses as to why he deserves a break from the hard in his life. No. He turns to the Lord with words that only the creation could express to it's creator:
"You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me."
David declares to the hard things confronting him where his comfort truly comes from. David has no need to prove to others what his fears or tears are. His God cares even more than he could care for himself. His God collects and KEEPS his tears. His God writes down his tossings. His God will turn his enemy back. When he calls, he knows his God is for Him. David's eyes are looking to the source, not to a fleshly means of comfort.
Around the same time I was feeling this conviction over looking to the comfort of buying clothes, a friend of mine reached out with a humbling and even more convincing message:
"The Lord put on my heart to buy you a dress. It is more blessed to give than to receive! That's what the Lord told me and laid it on my heart to give to you in this way, that you may be reminded of His love and tender mercies. May the dress be a long-term reminder of God's precious and personal gifts in the midst of affliction!"
As I was realizing I had been serving myself by splurging where it was not needed on clothing to bring myself comfort, my God who cares far deeper than even I care for me, put on the heart of a friend to buy me a beautiful, and completely unnecessary dress. I was dumbfounded, humbled and in awe - feeling oh so heavily the reality that it was my FRIEND who was blessed more than me. She had perfectly displayed the Lord's generosity with me. My need is the Lord's care and my joy is to look to the needs of others! It IS indeed happier (blessed) to give than to receive.
We have a God who cares and His care far exceeds what our selfish efforts of comfort could ever provide. I had to repent of the excuses to self preserve and be "ready to share" (1 Tim. 6:18). Let us look to our ever-caring God who is wanting us to turn to Him to provide our comforts and cares. Even unnecessary dresses.
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