How the daughters-in-law are MISUSED as the free help on the holidays, how the traditional gender roles still played a vital part in this culture, until someone does something, to SET a new rule, like this daughter had for her own mother's, right to eat with the family! Translated…
Even as I'm Too Starved I'm Seeing the Stars Around Me, I'd Still, Waited for Her to Eat the Meals with Us……….
On the supper tables, there's always the person that's late, or absent.
As everybody in the world sat down to eat, there's always that no-show, then everybody dug, in………
a woman's "role...photo from online
In the New Year's, she'd HATED going home to the south, the stoves of the countryside weren't that easy to use for the modern day women, the fire isn't easily controlled in temperature, and she's the, sole, daughter-in-law, she couldn't, even, steal a breath to take a short break away, she was ordered around, ran in and out of the kitchens to cook, to clean, and finally, as she'd, made a full table's worth of foods, my grandmother would always call her sons to eat first, then, the grandchildren, and, the daughters-in-law were never, listed as priority, and, the stains on the stove after cooking needed to get wiped and cleaned off immediately, otherwise, if you left it too long, as the temperature cooled down, it'd become, stuck, that was, her, principle. Seeing how everybody is with their bowls, their chopsticks, situated on the table, and begun, chowing down, while nobody noticed how the chef, was still, sweating away, cleaning up in the, kitchens.
The traditions of our household was that as the men hadn't arrived home, we can't, begin to eat, and, as my father returned home, we needed to holler out to him, "dad, come to eat", and if there's no response, we were to, call out, again, until we'd heard his replies, and waited until he'd sat down then, we'd, begun our, meals, comparable, whether or not she's there, nobody seemed to, care at all, and I'd only, felt that this was weird, but never, once, did I, question it.
Decades came to pass, this head chef still kept her head low, not a word, but many times, I'd seen her eyes, red, but she'd, forced herself to buckle down and got back at work again, like that rumbling ventilator, swallowing everything, in. and, don't know when I'd, started, every time around mealtime, I'd, used that tone of voice, stuck to her, told her, "I'll wait for you to eat mom", "What else are you working on to make, let me help you.", but she'd, always, pushed me, away, and told me, "leave the kitchen, you'll only make things messier", or, "you ate too slow, if you don't go now, you will not have all the foods left." Told me to not wait for her, but I knew, my thoughtfulness made her, happy, because that was what she'd longed to her, the words of, care and concern from someone she'd, given her life, to.
with her family, already, eating...she's, serving the meals to them...photo from online
Maybe it was from that time, that it got, started.
No matter how hungry I was, to the point of my stomach, growling really loudly, I'd still, waited for her to finish working in the kitchens, then come to the tables to sit down and, eat with me.
As everybody got to the tables, I'd called loudly, "wait, mom's not here yet, everybody eat together, that makes us a, whole family!"
Because you'd, made this table's worth of food, that gave you the most rights, to sit at the table to eat, and you won't have to, cry in silence anymore, the table with you there, that's, what makes a, family, meal.
So, this is, how the daughters-in-law got, belittled by the husband's families, they are all, treated like, free help, they are the last to sit down for the suppers, eating the cold foods, the remaining of what the rest of the families didn't finish, and after they ate, they still have a kitchen sink's worth of, dirty dishes waiting for them, that, is how we women get, ABUSED by our families, used as, maids, but not anymore, as this daughter realized, that her mother is being, mistreated, she'd, begun this, new, trend for the family to follow.
illustration from UDN.com
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