I've heard this phrase quite often, especially after I became a mother. Parents with children older than mine would sigh, look down and say, "Oh…just wait… little kids, little problems. Big kids; big problems." I did not like when that was said. Depending on my mood, I would respond, "Have you met Thomas?" Other times I would say nothing and walk away rolling my eyes upside my head.
I learned to be a very outspoken mother when Thomas was younger. When he was 3, he was evaluated by a physician who wrote that my son was "mentally retarded" per Thomas' IQ. I had not read the eval yet when the psychologist on the team, before the team meeting quietly warned me that that was in that physician's report. This was Thomas' early intervention exit meeting. I was furious that the physician didn't tell me this himself. I'll never forget; I was by myself at this meeting. When we sat at the table I aggressively told the physician I thought he was wrong and I wanted an addendum written that I disagreed. The physician was arrogant and sputtered and argued and I stood my ground. Weeks later I realized I never received the amended report; called the early intervention center and asked why it wasn't done. The receptionist became quiet, then told me the physician had died. Oh. Didn't I read about it in the paper? He was very important, the head of this center, blah, blah… All I could think of was how cold and arrogant he was. I said, well did he write my addendum? I received the amended eval a week or so later.
This is one of the many meetings I sat in for Thomas. I was at every IEP meeting. Never over the phone. I wasn't working outside the home so why shouldn't I be there? The table was full of attendees during those years. And I would go alone. One time my wonderful friend Diane drove in from Long Island to come with me. It was great! She wore a red blazer and is kind of tall and everyone was soooo interested in who she was. Good times.
It was very frustrating that every professional evaluation until Thomas was about 6 years old would state his IQ level, the various testing methods that were performed, that he was speech impaired, mention the aggressive behavior at home, but never any kind of diagnosis. He saw many doctors. If I thought a specialist could help him, we were there. If they took our insurance it was a bonus. When Thomas was almost 6 years old I found a specialist psychiatrist in Manhattan. No he did not take insurance. I didn't care. For the first time in my life I drove to Manhattan by myself. Definitely a milestone. This doctor diagnosed my son and he began medication. We stayed with this physician until Thomas attended residential school the first time.
When the girls were younger yes we had a few problems that commonly occur to younger children. The most traumatizing; lice! After many rounds of "that" shampoo, coupled with a few physician endorsed home remedies, Alyssa and Lelly learned real fast not to hug friends or put their heads close together. Nor hang their jackets at school one on top of another in a stupidly crowded coat closet. I actually had a heated argument with Lelly's 5th grade teacher, that she was not to keep her winter jacket in the crowded closet with everyone else's. I very sternly told my daughter to put her jacket in her book bag or in a large plastic bag that I provided. The argument with the teacher reached the Principal's office. So insane. The solution? Omg, they cleaned out a closet in the classroom that was being used to store supplies and Lelly was to use that closet as her own personal coat closet. Yes, they did. Anyway I won and my daughter escaped lice that year.
No such thing as little kids little problems; big kids big problems. Nope.
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