Random cafeteria wall art.
If anyone is familiar with the autism spectrum then they probably know that picky eating goes hand in hand with autism and sensory processing disorders. Well my kid was definitely a picky eater. Not just picky about foods, but even brands.
Mr. L went through a phase where he couldn't manage getting through the day without starting it off with toddler formula mixed with milk and chocolate syrup- stirred in, not shaken. If you did shake his sippy cup, even in a different room, even if you took it outside and sat in the car to shake it… He would not drink it. Mr. L could taste the difference.
Later he went through a phase where he would only eat a specific brand of pizza AND only if it came in a pink, breast cancer awareness box. Could he read? No, but obviously the pizza tasted better coming from a pink box. So we called the restaurant and asked if they still had any pink boxes in the back, picked one up and had to slide every pizza into the box before bringing it inside or else he wouldn't eat it.
Our family has survived seasons of chocolate milk, grilled cheese, gold fish crackers, and fruit snacks. We've seen him love only 5 foods and then suddenly decided one of the 5 is now offensive and we fell back down to only 4 things he would eat. He didn't scream, he didn't beat his little fists, he simply would not eat. He would choose to forget that food existed if his preferred options were not available and he would go about his life like he didn't need food to exist.
Trying Dessert with Dad
However I have always looked at my children as whole people. I never see just a toddler, or a kid. When I look at my children I see where they grew from, who they are today and who I hope they will be as an adult. So when I make parenting decisions I try to not just think about how to get through today or through their childhood. I try to consider how I talk to them today and how I treat them in the moment will affect them as an adult.
If I choose to teach them something will it help them as a grown up? If I neglect to teach something, will it negatively affect them 20 years from now? I know that's a lot to consider. But because I think this way, it helps me invest in my kid's future and in my own. If I buckle down and get through potty training boot camp for a child who has a severe speech delay today… Then I probably won't have to wipe a 22 year old man's backside. If I remind my child multiple times a day to put on deodorant until he gets into a habit to just do it… Then I don't have to apply deodorant on a 34 year old man.
So when I watched my child eat plain pasta with slightly melted cheddar cheese on top every day for months, it made me wonder how that would look when he was an adult. Well this plain pasta didn't provide a well balanced diet and it couldn't be found everywhere food was offered. So if I just kept making pasta and accepted that this was just going to be his life… Then I was stunting his growth and I was limiting his life experiences.
Always room for Ice cream
So food was brought up in therapy. Food therapy happened. Little tiny steps took place and lessons on how to pick out food, how to cook food, and lessons on how to eat healthy and why we eat healthy happened. And little bit by little bit progress has happened. A blueberry was allowed on a plate, a strawberry was licked, a different shaped noodle was placed on top of the "safe" noodles, a different shaped spoon got used.
And today he ate a tostada.
Yep, without needing any extra little steps, without needing a few hours of warning and without needing to alter it. I simply made tostadas for his siblings for lunch and I told him that refried beans had protein in them and he politely took his plate and ate it! As he was eating it I couldn't help but think back to when I would sit with him and just put one grape on his plate, he would remove it and I would casually put it back on his plate while I ate my own dinner- helping him just get used to the idea that "unsafe" foods could exist near him and now today he eats grapes a few at a time.
I was even talking with my grandmother on the phone today and she was telling me about before we came to visit her this summer that she had been so worried about what she would feed my kids and if they would be hungry at her house. I had told her before our visit that my kids will eat almost any kid friendly food… But you know how grandmas can be, she worried anyway. But today she told me how surprised and impressed she had been watching Mr. L eat so many different kinds of foods and was so polite at every meal.
Culver's with the kids
And I'm going to be honest here, it felt good being told those things because I have years of experience of walking my child out of restaurants so he wouldn't disturb the other patrons. I have so many memories of being invited to other people's homes for dinner just to go sit in another room with my kiddo because he didn't like the food and I was too embarrassed to even want to eat so we would both leave hungry.
Bless my husband for being a great tag team partner who would trade off taking our kid outside so I could take turns eating too. But as a mother I take more responsibility upon myself than I should for wanting my children to succeed in life, so it was hard to eat in a restaurant by myself while my kid was upset outside. But with patience and practice we are starting to see wins and it is amazing to watch!
So there is my win for the day, a tostada was eaten without much effort or energy. And sometimes it's the little things ❤️
New School year, New Cafeteria.
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