funtasiegirl posted: " The marriage between Muslims and believers of other religions is still awakening some controversies. Many people including me at least once in their life had a perception of Islam as a religion with restrictions. And maybe it's not totally a lie but its "
The marriage between Muslims and believers of other religions is still awakening some controversies. Many people including me at least once in their life had a perception of Islam as a religion with restrictions. And maybe it's not totally a lie but its not all the truth either.
Until I came to Pakistan I strongly believed I had to let go of being a Christian if I were to marry Ahad. And maybe many Muslims would put conditions on European women but Ahad did never do that. At least not so far.
You don't have a clue how refreshing it feels to be with different people without them forcing you into doing something you are against. Love should not be forced. I came to Pakistan on my own despite all challenges I met on the way. I accepted Ahads marriage proposal long before I even got to shake his hand because despite the distance I felt I could trust my heart with him.
Ahad always tells me that he will love me no matter if I stay Christian or choose to convert. And I don't want to be delusional. I think its to late for me to change my belief system. Because to be honest I don't connect up to 100% with Christianity either. I rather focus on being a good human than the titles. The struggle I had to go through because of religion are engraved deep in my heart. I don't want to immerse in in any longer.
Marrying a Muslim is not so painful as I thought it would be. It's pretty simple, just as much as the divorce. I think everything depends on the person you marry. Marry a jerk then every action in marriage will be egoistical and filled with difficulties. Marry a man with a good heart and you got yourself a friend for life that will listen to your thoughts and try to work things out with you.
So marriage in Islam is called Nikkah. It's a contract between a man and a woman. Usually it's the girls family that is pretty much involved but foreigners marrying a Muslim don't go much through this struggle. Before you could marry without anyone knowing in Pakistan but since recently every marriage is being digitally registered in the archives and no one can remarry unless all paperwork is clean. When getting Nikkah the mans family need to prepare some kind of gift called mahr. I was strongly against it but the laws in Pakistan says every woman needs to get one so my Nikkah includes the lowest amount possible.
I had my Nikkah in court. There was a lawyer and an Imam that conducted our marriage. The process did not take much time. Waiting for the responsible peoples arrival took a hell way too much time instead .
After the Nikkah we returned home. And although I did not have a fancy wedding like before, I felt happy. I got a guy that truly cares about my wellbeing. I was too much excited to switch rooms from his sisters room to his. Eventually my mind went blank when Ahad embraced me. It felt like we were married for a very long time. I enjoyed that feeling. The feeling of belonging somewhere.
The marriage has been registered after few days and we got an English translation of the marriage certificate. The certificates in Pakistan are a little different than in other countries because they specify the age instead of date of birth but it works just fine.
If you wonder what kind of plans follow next or where I will live? If I thought through this (after all it's my 2nd marriage in a short span of time)? I did think a lot those last 9 months actually. Marrying a foreigner is not an easy task I can say. Especially when you have kids from previous marriage and your ex will always somehow be involved in your life. But as I mentioned before, I trust Ahad got good intentions. Sometimes trust is more important than all time spend or flame of passion. And I honestly feel more mature despite my parents criticizing my choices in life. I think everyone does mistakes. I am just learning from them and take it slowly. No more chasing. Just enjoying every minute of it.
Marriage is just a beginning of a journey where two people need to awknowledge each others needs and work on each others weaknesses. It's not always about completing each other. It's about being there when "the skies are falling" and when "the towers are build".
Let's see how our story unfolds. Nevertheless, I feel calm and ready.
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