funtasiegirl posted: " Many people will find me sharing my experiences as unnecessary but I feel that it's quite needed. Not all people feel confident after divorce. But everyone wants to be able to be comfortable around the person they managed to fall in love with after a tur"
Many people will find me sharing my experiences as unnecessary but I feel that it's quite needed. Not all people feel confident after divorce. But everyone wants to be able to be comfortable around the person they managed to fall in love with after a turbulent past. Thus I find sharing my experiences as valuable.
To even think about going through this again has been very stressful. The topic of sex and intimacy is always kind of taboo. I got sex proposals after my divorce. Many actually. But it always felt like my body did not belong to me. It could awaken many emotions but I did not make any steps towards action. I think I was not ready even though verbally I did not have any issues to express my feelings. I had many body acceptance issues. That could be the case as well.
It took me a while before I connected with my body and my needs. I actually had to go back into " virgin mode". Once I build trust with Ahad it was easier to express feelings. And although we just started holding hands, hugging and kissing two weeks ago after dating online for about 9 months, our first time wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. It felt very natural as if we knew each other before. I always thought this kind of things happen in movies.
Maybe it wasn't 3 or 4 hours at first like one of my friends jokingly put as a basic but it was always filled with respect, love and care. I noticed it was more about being open rather than acting like I-know-it-all. After all we are new to each other. We are required to feel out what works best for the both of us.
I'm not one of those well experienced woman. Before Ahad there was only Aarons & Austins father. That time everything felt intense. I was filled with fear for the unknown. I remember how I used to take pregnancy tests each two days.
This time I don't feel scared. I feel pretty calm. I know my boundaries and so does Ahad. To me sex is not about pleasure. It's more about connection and bonding. I know its too early to say but I think I found my match. Someone that does not see sex as a duty or a game but as a way of expressing affection for each other.
but it was always filled with respect, love and care. I noticed it was more about being open rather than acting like I-know-it-all. After all we are new to each other. We are required to feel out what works best for the both of us. 
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