I have never been one to cook. In fact, I am not a foodie; I'm more of a drink-y? I can make you the best mixed drink, just right, with lime, elderflower, gin, mint, you name it...But, food? Yeah, no. I just haven't really CARED about food. Maybe because I watch my weight, and maybe because I'm okay eating hummus and carrots for dinner? I like snacks; I'm a snacker and a chip n' dipper. Apps are my jam. I could care less about the entree. Isn't it a thing that the apps are always the best at events, and don't save your appetite for dinner? Hand me the coconut shrimp or the scallop wrapped in bacon; I'll pass on the Scrod, thanks.

So, I recently got married, and I felt I should be a little more wife-like, making my huz' some healthy food. I googled chicken recipes and stumbled upon this one that looked appealing on #Delish: Chicken Stroganoff. I prefer chicks over steak for cardiac protection. I was pumped! I ventured to Stop & Shop to buy the multitude of ingredients, many basics that I am lacking, like Dijon mustard and garlic. I mean, nuggets don't generally require those seasonings? So I was starting at ground zero with ingredients. About $90 later, I had all I needed, and I was excited to get my chef on!

My groceries

Around 5:00, I poured myself a nice fine glass of Layer Cake Cabernet Sauvignon and put on some classical music. Isn't this what chefs do? It seemed picturesque, nonetheless. I heated up the stovetop, did some chopping, ready to roll.

About an HOUR later (seriously?), I had completed the recipe. I don't know about you, but an hour to cook, and the whole time there at the oven, seemed like a giant ordeal. I mean, I could have done like a load of laundry, walked the dog, worked, written something, you name it, in that time. But, I was nonetheless proud of myself for this creation, as I called my children to the table, alit with candles, ready for a nice dinner.

"Bruh, no," my son said. "I don't like the smell." This was his reaction as he emerged from the basement, like a sand mole, where his Xbox resides.

"It's okay, Mommy," my daughter said. "I mean, I don't like mushrooms, but I can wipe the chicken off and maybe put ketchup on the noodles?" #sotrashy

Meh.

The finished product!

I took a sip of wine and demanded they each eat one piece of chicken and some noodles. And we went around the table and said our Rose and Thorn of the day.

"Is this meal your thorn?" I asked apprehensively?

"Nah, we didn't have enough time for recess," my son said. "That's my thorn." But he didn't eat his food. It's in the tupperware in the fridge for my sister.

He disapproves!

I felt the dogs at my feet. I tore apart a piece of chicken and lobbed it onto the floor. They wolfed it.

At least the dogs liked it? Should I get a job at Beneful?

So, after 1 hour of labor, and 1 hour of grocery shopping, I think I might stick with the old program of pasta or grilled chicken or nuggets. For the huz, I'll try to be crafty, but maybe we can eat alone, or order takeout!