A good dancer often has natural balance, rhythm, and coordination. However, you don't have to have a lot of skill or natural ability to be the kind of dancer with whom people want to dance. Here are a few guiding principles that can help anyone be a better dance partner and enjoy dancing more. I've found these useful for swing dancing, salsa dancing, square dancing, and a variety of other partner dances.

1.Enjoy each dance (no matter whom your partner is).

I read a fictional 1920's story in which a group of girls "make over" a homely girl as part of a wager to make her popular. Though the motives were not admirable, the advice they gave the girl at her first dance has stuck with me in a positive way. They tell her to dance with whomever asks her, even if he is the most undesirable partner in the room. Whomever she dances with, she should smile and laugh and show that she is having a good time. When she follows their advice, other more desirable partners start to notice her and ask to dance as well. Though I don't think you should put on a façade to get dance partners, there is much to be said for genuinely smiling and enjoying yourself. This is true even if you are with a partner you don't consider very good or with whom you don't have much in common. It is beautiful and attractive to be gracious to all your dance partners and not take yourself or your ability too seriously. Remember to thank your partner for the dance. (Note: The principle of dancing with anyone who asks you obviously does not apply if you are in a situation where someone has harassed or harmed you!)

2.Try to make your partner look good.

For men (who typically lead in a partner dance) this means, at minimum, making sure that your partner isn't going to run into anyone. Make sure you can lead the steps and moves you attempt safely, without causing your partner to trip or fall. For a more advanced lead dancer, lead with steps and spins that play to your partner's strengths, not trying steps too advanced for them that will make them feel awkward or mess up. Lead smoothly, with cues and good tension. For ladies, follow well by concentrating on your partner and watching for cues. Don't try to lead (it gets confusing and bumpy when there are two people trying to lead at the same time). Back to the first principle, smiling will show that the lead is doing his job well. Both men and ladies should avoid showing off.

3.Learn by observing others.

When I first started learning salsa, there were many times I didn't have a partner and stood on the sidelines. I would pick out a dancing couple who looked like they were confident in their ability and were having a good time. I would watch them the whole song to see what moves they did, how the lady moved her hands and feet, etc. I learned so much just from watching and then could practice and apply it when it was my turn to dance. For men, observing others is even more important if you have mastered the basic steps and want to add moves to make the dance more interesting. Just a tip, asking the follow to teach the lead new moves doesn't work very well. I regularly have men ask me to teach them something new, but I have no idea what the footwork or timing is for the lead's part.

4.Dance with many different people.

This principle comes from very old dancing etiquette. It used to be rude to dance more than once with the same person (even if they were married to each other!). This is still a good guiding principle today for a healthy social environment. You get to know different people through conversation and also can improve your dancing by learning from different partners' styles and knowledge of steps.

Enjoy the dance!

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