On how the time it takes to learn, may be longer than we expected, and we should NOT lose our patience, but we do, because we'd felt, that we'd taught the child too many times already, and s/he still can't do it, therefore, we as parents, get upset, and the child is still doing, NOTHING wrong but gets, FIRED AT! Translated…
On this very day, waiting for the restrooms inside the elementary school, I'd heard the conversations of a mother and a daughter that made me feel.
"This is the squatting kind, do you know how to use it?" "Yes!", "okay then, do be careful, take it slow." "Okay!" "Ahhh, why are you so careless? You'd wet yourself, let's go home!" "No!", "You're way past the age of wetting yourself, go HOME!" "No, I'm not done with the slides yet………" "Stop crying! You can't go to the squatting toilets yet, and you say you could! You'd wet your own pants, and still want to play? Go HOME!" "No~~~!", exiting out of the public restrooms, I saw a mother, pulling a young girl away, with the girl, turning around looking over at the slides, teary eyed.
I'd recalled how when I was learning to become independent, acquiring the skills I'd needed to live on my own, the panic I'd felt when I'd made an, error, and, how I was very flustered, when I'd taught my own young a new skill of life; and even as I'd switched from a learner to a teacher, I'd neglected to note, that dealing with the inabilities of completely a task is an important part of learning, if we get scolded a lot, then, it would get us into the mode of "no expectations, no hurt or disappointment", the avoidant means of interaction.
this is the type of toilet the mother got mad with the child not knowing how to use...photo from online
requiring enough muscle strengths in the legs, which the child hadn't gained yet...
The growth of life is from the continual learning process, the accumulation of our knowledge, and gaining the motivations in how we'd changed our behaviors, and defeats are merely, the bumps in the road we must walk through, in order to get to success, or maybe, after many tries, we still can't quite get it yet, and, that fluster of dealing with the one leading the group on, hurrying us along, made us even more, flustered, and, it'd caught both inside this, vicious cycle, running around, and around, and around, and around.
On the path to learn, for oneself as well as for others, we must, have that needed patience, tolerance and using more encouragements to each other, so the learner and the leader can both, have enough time and space to digest what's being taught and learned, to adjust, to find a way that works well with interacting with one another, then, we can, take the next steps forward with confidence and ease, toward that unknown in the futures, and we still feel, safe and secure to, keep on going, in our, lives.
So, this is on how the adult hurried the child too much, and, the mother may be hurrying, because she'd trained her own daughter to use the squatting kind of toilet, and she still can't get it, and, because this mother believed, that she'd taught her young child to use the squatting toilets, and she still couldn't, live up to her expectations of how she should know how to use it, that's why the mother got angered, and this is still all the mother's own emotions, getting passed down to this child.
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