Oh it hits hard on a Thursday afternoon once the late nights with friends and lovers catches up to you. The day seems to come to a halt. Sleep is in my purview and it is not achievable yet. I must keep my eyes open and my mind functioning.

I feel like we work so fast and so hard that there's a loss of control; its like that moment when there's a wavering of a vehicle as it sways off the road before crashing. Does it take a collision before we stop to steady ourselves?

I am a full-throttle type of person and I pour all my energy into things; therefore draining my reserves before I am able to refill. My coach calls it "spastic"... yeah there is some of that too. My oldest daughter's nickname is "Taz" after the Tasmanian Devil. There are two parts to that and one is the inheritance of the "go go go" way of approaching life. Its a straight shot from my mom, through me, to her.

When I was on my third day of being a mother, I remember being home from the hospital for maybe a day when my mom offered to come over and help. She arrived and promptly told me to sit. My feet had continued to swell and hurt badly but I had persisted on moving along as if all was good. I'm not sure if it was fear that everything would unravel if I relaxed, or just pushing through the uncertainty of it all, but settling wasn't easy for me. As moms often are, she was right, I needed to reduce the swelling in my feet so I laid down and put my feet up. Soon, I started to nod off, only to wake with extreme anxiety at the idea of falling asleep when my baby needed me. This happened a few times before I burst out crying. I had been running on steam and there was no more water to produce any more steam on which to go. I had completely crashed and was burnt out. Rest was what I needed.

I still run at full throttle, I've just learned to manage it better; ya know, slow down on the turns (as to not crash over the side of the hill). Even still, I do not recommend it. When you run at full steam, it takes an extreme halt to get to a stopping point or there's the crash.

Having faith is one way I've been able to find peace. Taking a bath reduces anxiety. Reading can shift me into a different state of mind and help slow the motor a bit. If you are one of those "go-getters" find a way to defragment yourself. I guarantee it may just be what you need to avoid that crash.