It was the avocados in the fruit basket. And the realization that no one wanted avocado toast for lunch.

Even more tears. How many can there be?

This morning we drove Jessica and her family to the airport to begin their very long trip the rest of the way around the world back home to Hong Kong. Traveling internationally with a 2 year-old and a 9 month-old is not a task for the faint of heart, but Jess and Matthias are two of the most amazing parents you've ever met. And their children, Ezekiel and Eliana, have spent three months entwining and embedding themselves forever in their grandma's and grandpa's hearts.

Three months. Before they arrived -- back when we were moving furniture and borrowing baby stuff and having their room remodeled; back when we thought we knew what it would be like to have a family of four (plus their favorite aunt) living with us for an extended time -- back then, I knew that I was supposed to make those four Sngs my primary focus. I was to do everything I possibly could to bless them and facilitate their getting the rest and refreshing they so desperately needed.

It's wonderfully freeing to be able to say that I did what God put in my heart to do: I gave them my all, and I have no regrets.

Last night, Jessica asked me if I was saving my tears for today (the day they'd be leaving) because she wanted to tell me something sentimental and it might make me cry. I told her to go for it; in the final days before any of our kids leave, I tend to cry a lot, and the lead-up to this particular goodbye has been especially tough for the past couple weeks.

What Jess said was one of the most wonderful, touching, affirming things I've ever heard. She said that many nights when she was up with Ellie during the night (and this was two to five times every night for the past three months), she'd tell Ellie, "It's OK. I'm here. Mommy's got you." But then sometimes she'd think, "But who has Mommy?" And she told me through tears, "I know you have me. Thank you for being there for me and for all you've done." And she hugged me bigtime and we both cried.

You don't always get that kind of human feedback, although God ALWAYS sees and knows. But it was very special and precious for Jessica to tell me that. And if she knows and feels that I "have" her, then all the clean-ups done and diapers changed and dishes washed and books read and groceries hauled and meals cooked and all the office work not done... was worth it.

As was all the blogging not done. Oh, how desperately I wanted to write regularly about this summer as it happened, but I haven't written at all -- except to list some of Ezekiel's favorite phrases, which I do want to update. But at some point (maybe in July?) I realized that since I couldn't do both, it was more important to fully live this summer than to document it.

This was a tough summer for me in many ways, but I am SO. VERY. GLAD I gave these wonderful, precious family members my all. I did what mattered most, and it made a difference.

Maybe love this deep really is supposed to hurt this much.

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