"It's hard having hair that's just different" is what my hairdresser said as she started sectioning off my hair to trim my perpetually wispy ends, and I felt like someone finally got it—what it's like having curly hair. Until about five years ago, I had absolutely no idea how to take care of my hair. For reference, I'm thirty. Sure, as a teenager, I could style my hair so that it looked presentable, sometimes even trendy, but it took so much stinking work. My friends would throw their hair into messy buns in two seconds flat and look adorable. I, on the other hand, was always washing, blow-drying, and heat-styling to achieve those same effortless looks. At one point in time, I was even using a curling iron to polish off my curls after washing and blow-drying. It was exhausting and incredibly damaging for my already fragile-by-nature hair. I always had split ends, broken pieces, and oily hair from over-washing, and I thought that was just the way my hair was always going to be.

Fast-forward from those awful teenage years to my mid-twenties. I was teaching, coaching, and getting my Master's Degree simultaneously, and I was rocking that messy bun every single day. The goal was to be clean, punctual, and effective—there was little time for anything else. Then, on a rare occasion (I can't remember what the occasion was), I had time to put some effort into fixing my hair. I had blow-dried my hair smooth, and was straightening the bottom layer in the back when I noticed that I was grabbing for hair where hair should've been, but there wasn't any. I tried unsuccessfully a few more times to grasp my phantom hair, and finally used a mirror to look at the back of my hair. I was mortified to see an inverted "V" shape in the back of my hair undoubtedly caused by years of excessive heat-styling coupled with a few months of messy buns tied up with elastics that broke my hair.

When I realized what I had done to my own hair, my next though was, "Hollie, what are you going to do if someday you have a daughter with curly hair? Are you just going to teach her to hate her curly hair and do everything she can to change her appearance every single day of her life?" And those questions stopped me. If I hated something about my appearance so badly, how could I ever instill confidence in my future children—especially a daughter? Hair seems trivial, and in the scheme of things it really is, but it's also something that we use to express ourselves. So, with my hypothetical daughter in mind, I finally learned how to care for and style curly hair. It was high time because man, I was doing it ALL wrong. The following are tips and tidbits I gleaned from hours of YouTube videos, blogs, and trial and error. Happy reading!  

Note: When I started learning how to care for curly hair, my hair was incredibly damaged from heat-styling. If you think this might apply to you, keep reading. BEFORE you decide that this doesn't apply to you, keep in mind that heat-damage doesn't only manifest in broken hair and split ends. It also presents as ends that are incredibly straight (for people with naturally curly hair).

Tips on Caring for Damaged Curly Hair:

  • Stop using sulfates and silicones immediately. Sulfates are what give shampoos a rich lather. However, that rich lather can also strip away natural oils of your hair, and if you have curly hair, your hair needs all of the natural oils it can get. Sulfates are also required to wash out silicones, which are found in the majority of styling products. Silicones themselves are relatively harmless, unless you cut sulfates and continue to use silicones. In that case, you can develop a major build-up problems, which can eventually lead to limp hair and even hair-loss. A sulfate-free shampoo doesn't lather as much, but trust me, your hair will be just as clean. You might have to scrub a little bit more, but the benefits are definitely worth a few additional minutes of washing. Even if you don't have curly hair, I think that going sulfate and silicone free would be beneficial. I think it's probably the best thing I've done for my hair to keep it healthy. Click here for some of the sulfate- and silicone-free shampoos I've used and loved over the past few years. Good news, they're relatively cheap!
  • Stop washing your hair every day, every other day, and if you can manage, every third day. Yeah, reaaaallly cut back on that washing, folks. If you have curly hair, chances are you don't get super oily anyway. If you feel like you have to wash your hair everyday because you are so oily on day two, your scalp might be in oil-production overdrive from all of the washing, desperately trying to keep up with all of the oil being stripped away. Trust me, it might take a month or two of bad hair days, but your scalp will calm down (mine did), and you won't need to shampoo as often. It's a great time-saver.
  • Use a hair mask once a week—just make sure it's silicone free and is formulated to lock in moisture . I like this one.  
  • Use minimal heat. At first, this seems impossible if you are accustomed to using heat every day, but trust me, minimizing heat makes a major difference. If you have curly hair, this can mean air-drying instead of diffusing. It can also mean turning your blow-dryer power to low and the temperature from hot to warm or cool. If you must straighten your hair, make sure you use a dry shampoo (my absolute favorite—it's amazing) to extend the period of time between washes so that you don't have to apply heat as often. Also, if you MUST straighten your hair (I still do!), don't begin drying it from soaking wet. Instead, let it air-dry about 50%. Your dry time will be quicker, and if you use a round-brush, your hair will actually dry smoother and have more volume than if you dried from soaking wet. Your hair will look better, and you've exposed it to significantly less heat damage. In addition to turning the heat and power down on your blow-dryer, turn that straightener down! If you have thin to moderately thick hair, 375 degrees is the maximum temperature you should ever use. I typically stick to 350-360.
  • Use hair-ties that don't cause damage. When I switched my hair-ties, I noticed a huge difference. I now opt for ties like these.

Now that you've made it through the general care tips for damaged curly hair, let's go through the styling tips. These tips are specifically for someone who has damaged curly hair because healthy curly hair behaves a lot differently. In my own experience, I style my healthy curly hair completely differently than I did my damaged curly hair.

Tips on Styling Damaged Curly Hair

  • Take a pick with you to the shower. After you have shampooed and added conditioner, rinse most of the conditioner out trying to leave a bit in the ends. Then, literally while the shower is still on, flip your head upside down, pick out your hair, and apply a curl enhancer or activator. I like these. This product should be a cream, but it should be a thick cream that has a little bit of "stick" to it. At this point in the game, you don't want any sort of definer because you really don't have curls to define. You probably have some kinks, waves, and frizz, that you'll be trying to convince to curl for a few months. Hang in there, friend; you'll get there. You need to apply your cream product with your head upside down. Then, scrunch your hair with your head still upside down. Your hair should be absolutely soaking wet while you're scrunching.
  • Next, take an obscene amount of this blue hair gel ­­­and scrunch into your hair (still upside down!). Don't worry about getting too much—you're going to scrunch it out when your hair dries anyway. You want the gel to seal the curl enhancing product on your hair as well as lock in moisture. This will prevent frizz. While I am recommending this gel for damaged curly hair, I want to be transparent in conveying to you that I don't currently use this gel. The reason I no longer use this gel is because my hair is much healthier now and needs no help in holding curl. I also use significantly less product now. This gel is cheap, and you need cheap in the beginning because if you have heat-damaged hair, those ends are going to be pretty straight.
  • Once you've sufficiently scrunched your hair, flip your hair right side up, get out of the shower, and immediately turn your head back upside down. Using a microfiber towel like this one or a t-shirt, secure your scrunched hair to your head. This is called "plopping." The duration for which you "plop" (I know, such sophisticated language) will really depend on you and your hair. My hair is on the thinner side, so I only plop for 15-20 minutes, any longer and I end up with very defined, flat curls—not cute. A t-shirt works as well as a microfiber towel in regard to sort of "setting" your curls. However, a microfiber towel will significantly decrease drying time.
  • After you've plopped, take your hair down, and find your part trying to disturb as few curls as possible. The more you touch your hair at this stage in the game, the more frizz you will have. Trust me.
  • Now is the difficult part. You need to air-dry your hair—at least for a little while. Air-drying reduces heat damage and frizz, and if your hair is curly and damaged, both of these are major issues for you. Full disclosure, you have a lot of product in your hair at this point, so air-drying takes hours—literally. Therefore, it's not always practical to air-dry, but whenever you can, make it a priority. I air-dry on the weekends when I know I will have a bit of time before I have to go anywhere. I cook, clean, do laundry, and play with my kid while I air-dry my hair.
  • After you've air-dried as long as you possibly can, if your hair is still damp, use a diffuser like one of these and diffuse your hair on low to medium heat on low power. I preferred the type of diffuser that looked like a hand when my hair was damaged because my ends dried incredibly fast, but my roots took ages. It allowed me to access my roots when blow-drying and leave me ends alone.
  • When your hair is absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt dry, you should still have very crunchy unbecoming hair. Now comes the magical part. You're going to scrunch and shake out the crunch. Put just a dab of your cream product from the shower on your hands or you can opt for some silicone free oil like this coconut one. Then, start scrunching and tousling. You'll break the gel cast and be left with relatively frizz-free waves and curls.

I'll wrap this up by saying that transitioning your damaged hair back to its naturally curly state is a process. Congratulations, you have some high-maintenance hair. However, if you can stick with it, you will eventually have healthy, curly, and sometimes (depending on the weather), low-maintenance hair. Stay tuned for my next blog post about caring for and styling healthy curly hair! See you soon!

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