KLHathaway posted: " What's normal, what's not, and how to handle workplace bullying Photo by Yan Krukov on Pexels.com If I was ever asked what I felt most unprepared for in adulthood, I think the biggest answer would be how similar it is to high school. If you've ever"
If I was ever asked what I felt most unprepared for in adulthood, I think the biggest answer would be how similar it is to high school. If you've ever heard the song by Bowling for Soup called "High School Never Ends" I think you'll understand where I'm going with this.
Over the years I've had several different bosses. Some great, some not so much, but the one constant I've identified with the workplaces I have not enjoyed has been the proliferation of workplace bullying.
Now I'm not saying that everyone that doesn't get along with you is a bully, just like I'm not saying that everyone you dislike working around is being bullied by you. Not everyone will like you. People are entitled to their opinions, even if it's not what you want it to be. If you lose your temper and snap at a colleague or vice versa, you're not bullying.
However, if you repeatedly continue to belittle someone or make an individual uncomfortable in any way, especially when you have been asked to leave that individual alone, then we are crossing into harassment territory.
If you or someone you know has been repeatedly harassed by an individual it's important to know how to handle it.
Be able to identify it
Workplace bullying can sometimes be difficult to identify. It's not always "He/She was mean to me so they are a bully." Sometimes people aren't aware of how they come across to others.
A hostile workplace is not something that you have to deal with on your own. Document everything. Keep a secret notebook that you take home with you every day. Date and time stamp everything, including potential witnesses if needed.
If you can make copies of documents do so, but keep them at home and away from prying eyes. Depending on the type of harassment, it may cross into civil rights territory. Any evidence you can collect may be important later.
Take your concerns to HR. You have every right to do so. Retaliation is illegal, so if this happens make sure to document it. There are no federal laws governing workplace bullying, however many states have enacted laws. Learn the laws of your state, and be prepared to quote them if needed.
Be prepared to be thrown to the wolves
I've touched on the fact in other posts that I was bullied as a kid. It's made me a stronger person I think, someone who is willing to stand up for the underdog. But I've also learned how rare that can be.
When you find yourself in a situation where you have a target on your back, 9 out of 10 co-workers are going to scatter. Exactly zero people what to be the one dodging arrows.
Unfortunately, while a pack mentality would put the attacker in a much weaker position, the typical office is set up to promote the idea of followership instead of leadership and rewards accordingly. So even if ten people have a problem with one person, the odds are that only two of those ten are willing to stick their neck out and do something about it. Leaving those two who did stand up to the one person in a very precarious position.
This can lead to feelings similar to betrayal in those being attacked but is perpetuated by the fear of the other eight people who tuck their heads back in their turtle shells.
Have an exit strategy
Regardless how happy I am in any position, I always make sure that I am aware of the job market. I like to be able to move if I ever find myself in need of that option.
You should never stay in a place that makes you unhappy. Your mental health is the most important thing to you and your loved ones. Figure out your exit strategy and stick to it. Find a place that will treat you like the badass you are! You deserve to be treated better.
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