Sometimes I come here when I'm down.

Sometimes I come here when I need to vent.

Sometimes I come here when I'm frustrated, sad, hurt, angry, or anxious.

I'm not sure why I'm here today.

Honestly, I'm not even sure what I want to talk about. I'm not even sure I have anything worth saying floating around in my head. I felt like writing, but I just don't know why.

Maybe that's what I need to talk about. I feel like I can't identify a single thought in my head, and it isn't for the same reason that it most often is. Most of the time, if I can't pinpoint a train of thought, it's because I have so many different things on my mind that I can't focus on just one. Today, I feel the opposite. It's almost like my brain has been in overdrive for too many consecutive days, and now it is too low on fuel to even maintain a thought long enough to focus on it.

It's been such a long week. Let me be clear — it hasn't been a bad week. Actually, for the most part, it's been a pretty great week. One of my best friends married the person who supports her, complements her, and loves her exactly how she deserves to be loved yesterday. Ruby got to spend a couple of days with my mom while I prepared for and stood up in the wedding, and I got to have a couple of days to do something other than work or mom.

mom /mäm/ verb

to devote one's entire heart, mind, body, and
soul to someone else's well-being, happiness, and survival

synonyms for mom: support, care, help, advise, love, guide

Great things have happened this week. Tasks have been accomplished, memories have been made, and fun has been had, but before the fun could happen, work had to be done. I worked three consecutive twelve-hour night shifts over the weekend and had only one measly day off before going back for one more. After that shift, I got groceries, packed for the day of the rehearsal and the wedding day, picked up my dress, got the house ready for my mom to come stay with Ruby, and then got not-enough-hours of shitty sleep. The next day, I was gone from morning to night for the last of the wedding prep, the rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinner. The wedding day finally came, and it was beautiful and special to see such an important friend of mine so happy.

It really has been a great week, but it's been equally exhausting. I think that I'm just burnt out from doing one thing after another for days on end with virtually no time to rest, either physically or mentally. My brain is fried, and my body is tired. I need to let myself rest and recharge while I have the time tonight, so I think that's what I'll do.


This free site is ad-supported. Learn more