| Hi read, How are you today? For those of you in the US like me, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed a few days off. For all the working mamas out there, here's my question for you. How is it already December?!
More than a million working moms still haven't returned to the workforce after leaving because of the impact of the pandemic. The stories I've heard from working moms have left me wondering if part of the challenge is that we aren't asking for what we need at work and at home so that we can succeed. We need to normalize asking for what we need. We need to high-five each other when we do and give each other tips on what helps us actually ask for what we need.
Let me share about my own journey related to asking for what I need. In January of 2018, I wanted to write a second book that focused on work-life balance tips for professional working moms. (Yes, I'm talking about the bestselling and 3-time award-winner The Mompowerment Guide to Work-life Balance.)
I needed about an hour a day to write. I went to my husband to ask for his help. We settled on shifting the cooking to him. He started by doing the cooking only. Eventually, I got him to do all of it. Planning, prepping, and cooking. All. of. it. I had to be specific with what I needed, though. And I also have to be OK with it looking different than what it did when I was the one in charge of feeding our family.
When I still worked for a large company, long before a pandemic fast forwarded flexibility, I negotiated a transition to a part-time role. I was specific with what I needed while also allowing for some flexibility to create a win-win with my manager. She originally wanted me to come in on each day 9-1, but that would have made childcare challenging, so we settled on 3 days/week. We set the hours and the parameters of working from home as necessary. Again, I was specific.
What helps you ask for what you need? I've got 5 tips that can help you:
Shift mindset on asking for help. Don't look at asking for help as a weakness or a negative. Feel empowered. You're being pragmatic about what you need to succeed. (I loved this shift to being pragmatic that I heard at a brainstorming I attended in early 2020.)
Asking for help = taking action. Making changes almost always requires that you take action. Ask for help to take the first step. It likely won't happen without your asking. Most people's mindreading ability – at work and home – is non-existent.
Be specific. Know what you're looking for. Be specific with your ask. And remember to either ask specifically what you need or be OK with whatever help you get. It might look different than what I originally pictured without that specificity.
Understand who can help you. Part of getting to yes when you ask for help is finding the right person to help you. It might be your significant other at home. Or your manager at the office. Or it could be your neighbor who you carpool with or your colleague down the hall. Be strategic with who you ask to get what you need.
Release the mental load. When you ask for help and get it, you need to release the mental load too. What is the mental load? It's all the stuff behind a task or duty. We must release the mental load to fully embrace the help we get. Learn more about this from my interview with Sonia Parekh.
I'm talking about all of this now, just in time for the holidays. So, get someone to wrap your presents. Ask everyone to bring something to a potluck holiday meal. Get your husband to cook at least half the week, if not more. Show your kids how to put silverware on the table and put away clean silverware from the dishwasher. Ask your manager for Fridays off in the month of December because you have the days and need to use them (please, please, please use all your vacation days!!). You've got loads of ideas. If you need help, you can schedule time with me. Use the link below!
What will you ask for to help set you up for success?
You've got this!
Suzanne
PS And don't forget that if you need help with having that integral conversation with your significant other, the Mompowerment Becoming Better Partners at Home Discussion Guide can help. It will walk you through the often challenging conversation and give you new ideas on how to partner at home, whether it's household or childcare duties. And while you're there, you can also download several documents related to asking for what you need at work. | 
No comments:
Post a Comment