Yes, my dear people. You've read well. Many people actually do it. This time without pointing really, those involved will know themselves that it's about them and to be honest there are 7.9 billion people according to the statistics of world population (2021) and more or less everyone has done some mistakes. But still its so taboo to not be perfect at everything. People are so scared of being written about. And sadly so many are bullies and cowards.

We people have a bad habit of putting others down and I need to awknowledge that when people make my traumas into nothing I feel very emotional about it. I do not regret my actions or words though because I feel most of the worlds population is projecting shrewd views. They put expectations on others ignoring the fact that not everyone has lived a life similiar to theirs. I lived in Sweden most of my life. Here is my home.

In Sweden, I've learned three important keywords : Kindness, Consideration, Respect.

Kindess meant to take care of those weaker than us. Those that were seating alone were to be accompanied by someone else because you never know what a person goes through. A stranger sometimes becomes closer to you than your friend circle or your family.

Consideration meant to not judge anyone based on their appearance, weaknesses, traumas. In school, our teachers taught us to resolve issues through a constructive dialogue, not based on our views. When the conflict was too big to resolve or the students did not want to awknowledge that they were wrong , the teacher would ask "How would you feel if someone said like this /did like this to you/your mom/your sister/your brother?

Only then the students would let go of their ego. And actually say sorry. That was a lesson of putting yourself in others shoes. Seeing the pain/happiness/challenges/dreams through their eyes. And you actually do not need a degree in psychology to know this when you speak or write something to someone. Imagine yourself without food, without the ability to buy anything, without a stable home environment, without a parent that would prepare you for school every morning and pick you up, would you still look down on the person? What about someone going through physical and mental abuse, someone that saw their own parent cheat another parent, someone that saw his/her father hanging himself, would you call that person tragical or tell them that they are wonderful and so strong to tell you about it ?

The last and probably most difficult keyword of all...

Respect. Respect in most cases is given to those you can gain something from. It can be prestige, a good seat at dinning table. Its stupid actually how people misuse it. To me respect goes two ways. I may not agree on everything you say but I will not meddle in your life. I will not tell you that you are a grown up woman/man and you should act this or that way or that you are a mother/father and you should not do this or that unless you made a statement or promise that I never asked for. Is there only one kind of woman/man? One kind of mother/father? Let me ask you this and seriously think about it.

1.What was a woman before she even became a baby girl?

2.What does make a mother, a mother?

I met many women in my life. I have many women in my life. And no matter what they do, I do never criticize them before they do. It's very simple. I do not give a damn what they earn and how, with whom they sleep, where they live or what they wear and most of all I don't give a damn about their beliefs. It's their choices. Their consequences.

But I am not a fool, I am not a boxing bag that anyone can beat into a bump, I am not a freakin' dushbin either, to receive your negativity and criticism that by the way is missing constrictiveness because don't forget that "you" were not born with a broom on the time of your birth so probably it took time for you to learn the importance of having a clean home as well as you were not born with a guide of "how to become a perfect mother". And no, no one did. You say that grandmom or mom did like this and like that. But let me tell you. That was your grandmom or mom or mother in law. I don't give a damn. That should not become your frickin "norm" but actually a starting point. You are the creator, nobody wants copies. Think of your child. They have rights to like and dislike things and people. It's 21st century, the Era of Digitalization and Innovation.

What does it mean?

  • Children are born more active and more knowledgable than their grandparents or even parents. So let them be more independent in their play.
  • Arranged marriages are getting less popular. While divorces are not so scary anymore. Don't think of divorce as a stain, sometimes its the best that could've happened.
  • Mixed marriages are normal. There is a reason why colorful pictures made our heart be filled with warmth while being a kid. It helped us to learn so much.
  • In most places in Europe no one will be surprised seeing a brownish, yellowish or reddish complexioned person. Because color does not say much about who we are. It's just some peoples stupid projections. Why would you discriminate a doctor for its skin color when doctors job is to save lives?
  • Following diverse traditions is becoming a new trend. It's fun to try things differently or see how much we have in common.
  • It's easier to travel overseas because visa can be obtained online for the most part. Should I go to Turkey or why not L.A. in US ?
  • Banking, social media, e-mail, online universities, QR-code etc... Media technology is my life. Everything inside of my pocket.

A whole new world.... and you want me where ?

To go back to 1980s, 1950s or even before that ?! Are you nuts ?

Let me tell you about a woman of 21st century according to me.

  • She shuffles between kids, work, home.
  • She maybe did not finish university but she learns every day.
  • She reads not to be smart but to have the knowledge to be independent wherever she goes.
  • She makes her own decisions, own plans for the future, has own dreams.
  • She is objective and does not let others thoughts to affect her values.
  • She loves herself enough to stand up for what she believes.

And now let me answer the questions for you from before.

  1. A woman before she even got a gender was simply a human, an innocent life. Same goes for the opposite gender.
  2. What makes a mother a mother is her affection for her kids. There is no manual to it. No norm to it. And you know why? Because there are 7,9 billions people on this earth right now. What is wrong for you, 1000 miles away may be okay or even excellent.

And I know I should not expect everyone to share my point of view. I know that not everyone see what I see, and feel what I feel. But indeed I have a remedy for people that try to enforce their beliefs on me, try to make me feel like I am the one that is crazy. I simply cut them out from my life. Do you know why ? Because there are 7.9 billions people doing mistakes in their youth. Not only me.

How do we understand the world if we lock ourselves in our small bubble with only one nation, one language, one religion , the same route every day and night, the same friends ?

I am not lord Almighty even with such great knowledge as astrology I do make mistakes and will make mistakes. But it does not make you or me more tragical.

What is tragical is that your mother may have had a lot of bad experiences but is not taking any lessons from it. Like for example in her parenting. She knows what hurt her. Why she does not think it may actually hurt her child too?

I may not show it. But I've actully did not sleep good since I planned my trip to Pakistan. My mother was on my mind 24/7. My ex was there too and my kids as well. Even when I was in Pakistan I could not relax. And then I heard that I am a bad mother because I left kids in this and that place. But did I have a choice? Did anyone except my grandmom offer help to stay with kids? Did anyone propose " Hey. I am worried about you. If you really like this guy. Invite him here first, don't go by yourself."

No one did it. No one.

The only thing I heard is that I will be sold, raped and that maybe its better for me to be raped, then at least I will get a brain.

The person forgot that it met with foreigners as well. I even saw intimate pictures. I..should not see those things. I should not hear many things as well. But I did. Why I am I not allowed to be wrong at times about people or my actions?

Because it stains their honor, reputation , people will talk ???

And who cares about what people say. Your family member is starting a new journey. She still trives to live, she believes she can be better than this with this person. But nah...

Because "this" and "that". "I will never accept it".

Okay. Then don't accept it. It's your world.

I will create one of my own, where people will know the value of kindess, consideration and respect. And will not project their skrewd beliefs on me or my dear ones.

Got dirty & learned the lesson. Got cleaned & never repeated ! Thank you for reading!

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