52SlicesOfChingonaLife 52EssaysNextWave 4/52

Not only has this been the first month of 2022, it has also been my 'tune-up' month. I usually handle my tune-up month in July each year -- pelvic exam/pap smear, annual physical, mammogram. This pandemic has had me off-schedule for months.

Today I went in for a mammogram. Never the best time of my life for sure but way better than getting into those stirrups for a pelvic exam. I went into the exam already feeling guilty for not going in sooner but, like everything this past couple of years, if it wasn't an emergency, I wasn't going anywhere that I didn't need to.

You're always put into these awkward positions as they try to get your breast in position to photograph, and it's always about "don't move" and "don't breathe". It's trickier for me because, like a lot of women, I'm short. I'm either on or practically on my tiptoes so it's like "ya! let's get it over with".

My thoughts flew to Mama today. If what I just described seemed awkward, it was downright "martirio" (agony) for my mother to get a mammogram done. First of all, she was paralyzed on one side. However, she still felt pain so imagine trying to get her breast and arm up onto the machine, cold machine that would make her jump, it would easily take two of us to try and get her into position onto the machine, telling her not to breathe was almost impossible, and many times Mama would be super agitated, embarrassed, stressed. It was frustrating and sad at the same time. An exam that saves lives was almost out of reach for my mother. Sometimes we would get an understanding technician, sometimes not. Sad because we would think of other women who had physical challenges like Mama, who had to go through these exams alone and afraid, how did they make it through? I would have to bite my tongue the entire time so that I wouldn't get frustrated with my mother, because had she been able to do what the tech wanted her to do, she would have done it.

Once we got out of those appointments, my mother was always super exhausted and grateful that she made it through yet another 'tune-up' appointment. I remember one time she told me, "you better take care of yourself so that you don't end up like me." and in the next breath, "have you done your mammogram? you need to keep those appointments".

So today, after my mammogram appointment, I went and took a walk and said a rosary, grateful that I was able to drive myself to the appointment, get out of the car unaided, walk to the building, get all twisted as the exam took place, put my clothes back on, walked out to my car and drove to one of my parks for a walk before driving back home. Something so ordinary, so normal, that Mama would have loved to have done.

Moral of this story? If you can walk, or if you cannot walk, if you need help getting there, ask for help, but GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM EVERY YEAR as well as your other tune-up appointments. Do it for those ladies in your life who physically had to struggle like Mama, or for those who actually had breast cancer like my Comadre, for survivors, for those who were called up to heaven, for the girls, young and old, depending on you, and mostly, do it for you.

It's 15 minutes out of your life for your life.

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