Friday, June 3, 2022

[New post] I’d never really thought about it..

I'd never really thought about it..

The Dempsey diaries

Jun 3

I'm not sure people will ever truly comprehend how tough it is to have a child with allergies. I didn't. I'll hold my hands up, I never for a second considered how bad it could possibly be, but living it day in, day out with our little girl is honestly so bloody shit sometimes.

I know i make jokes and laugh about parenthood but i also do like to shine light on things that are lesser known about and if you've followed me for a long time you'd know how difficult Eden was as a baby,
of course at the time.. We didn't know why and her nickname was screamer.
She was labelled difficult, a naughty baby. And my fave lines were "its just colic"... "she's got excema"
My doctor recommended so many cruel methods of letting her cry, put ear plugs in, etc... This was a baby in severe pain.

It took a lot of confrontation and bravery on my part to get Eden the things she needed (special baby milk, reflux medication, etc)

To this day (she's nearly 3)we're still waiting for her allergies to be tested properly!

I'm writing this because I don't think I'd realised how much of a toll it was taking on us until a cashier noticed my cute "mini cupcakes" but then gasped at the price... I explained its because they don't contain egg milk soya and therefore are vegan so the price reflects that, but that i didn't want her to feel left out for our street party tomorrow.
Its really really shit when kids have things that i can't let her have. It's nobodies fault, it's just shit.

I went on to show the cashier the £3 chocolate bar i had, and the 2 little yoghurts that were around the same price..
That it hurts my heart that she always gets boring easter eggs that cost and arm and a leg when I know she'd love one of those £1 peppa pig ones. Or those £1 for 6 paw patrol yoghurts.

I was explaining how she'd looked as a baby, almost like she was abused with all the bleeding scratches all over her, that her mits were always covered in blood and that she was constantly held standing up (thanks reflux) I used to be embarrassed if people would peer into her car seat, or feel like i had to explain the scratches. People used to try and give me tips like I'd not tried everything physically possible to stop her scratching.

I look back on her first 18months and it honestly brings back a lot of guilt, pain and trauma. In fact, it's probably the number 1 reason that I won't have any more children.

Its been a bloody long road and we're still suffering now, (she's actually just this second thrown up due to reflux... 臘‍)

And i just NEVER KNEW how hard it could be having an allergy baby.
Trying to be sure that her nursery are careful, or that she doesn't pick up a stray bit of food in soft play.

Knowing when to give piriton, and eating out is just another level of hell, being what feels like "a difficult" customer when you ask for ingredients of foods.

Its not great. It's not perfect, but things are easier now for us. So if you've just begun an allergy journey, I'm so so sorry you're going through it - IT IS A BIG THING, AND YOU DO NEED Support. Educate the family and friends around you, take the help, join the Facebook groups.
And like everyone will tell you, they'll probably grow out of it, but that doesn't help right now, what helps right now is support, understanding and love.

Sending you lots love and solidarity.