[New post] Overcoming Jealousy with Love and Gratitude to Build Confidence
Beth Backes posted: " Often times, we find ourselves acting through jealousy and we don't even realize it. We compare ourselves to others all the time, and social media has made this so much worse. We see other people who we think have it better than us, when we really only k" Beth Backes
Often times, we find ourselves acting through jealousy and we don't even realize it. We compare ourselves to others all the time, and social media has made this so much worse. We see other people who we think have it better than us, when we really only know a small snippet of their life. We only know the part of their life that they're showing to us. We think they have a better life than us, but do they really?
How Overcoming Jealousy Can Make You More Confident
Listen to Mindful Actions Podcast, episode 28, to find out, or read a breakdown of the content below!
Mindful Actions Podcast Episode 28 : Mindfulness and Jealousy
Wow, there is a lot going on right now. The summer is winding down, school years are beginning, and there are lot of mixed emotions around both of those things, and with those seasonal changes, often comes the desire for life changes as well.
Whether you feel stagnant and want change, or are beginning to feel the sense of wanting more out of life, or maybe, it's the opposite and you're just so burned out you need to do less and let things to slow down a bit. Whatever it may be, I want you to know that it's ok to want something different. It's ok to look at yourself and think, I want more, or this is too much. And that's exactly the moment where mindfulness needs to be present in your life. When you have a realization of insecurity about your life, mindfulness can help you more closely identify with where these feelings are coming from so you don't make a decision based off external factors. Other people can have such a big affect on us, whether we realize it or not. We see a friend get a new job, or a new house, or try a diet that helps them lose weight, or they start a new exciting relationship and we think. Ooh, I want that too. But mindfulness can help you hone in on those feelings and instead help you to be confident that you're making the decision based off what is best for you in this moment, not opinions about what others are doing in their lives.
That's what we're going to talk about today. My single most popular podcast episode, by far, has been episode 7, titled Celebrate Yourself. And in some of my past Instagram Polls, you all have said that self-love is one of the things you have the most trouble accepting. So let's break that down a little bit more today.
Mindfulness and Gratitude Help Boost Your Mood
Self-love. Self-acceptance. Self-promotion. Self-confidence. None of those should have anything to do with the people around you. Your worth is built on your own characteristics and your own experiences. Nothing is built off what other people THINK they know about you.
What people know about you is their own perception of what you've allowed them to see. You can flip that right around on yourself. What you know about someone else, and their supposed fun and flashy life, is only what they've allowed you to see of them.
There's a quote I like to remind myself of when I'm feeling comparison syndrome in real life or on social media. It says "Don't compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 20".
This quote is perfect in the eyes of mindfulness. So, going back to wanting what others have. You need to stop and take a breath and look at your own life and your own circumstances. I'll be honest, one of the things I have to remind myself of sometimes is when I feel maybe a little bit jealous that some of our closest friends and family are more comfortable financially than we are. But every time I get that feeling, I have sit back and remind myself that our story is different than theirs.
Mindfulness For Everyday Life Decisions
We went through IVF multiple times in order to have our children. That is not a cheap way to go about having a family. IVF is one of the most expensive things I've ever done in my life, but obviously, so worth it. And on top of that, I work full-time, and then some, and we don't live near any family. So we have to pay for daycare and regular babysitters. So no, we may not have as much spending money as some of our friends, but that's ok, because we have chosen to do what is right for our family. We have a family now. We live in a wonderful community. And we have good, fulfilling jobs. When I look at it that way, it doesn't matter that Rachel just got a giant house in the suburbs. Good for her. I will go visit her, and take advantage of her pool, and then come back home to my lovely life.
Self reminder: my chapter 1 in building my family was surrounded by loss, and grief, and medical bills. My friends chapter 1 started with a simple pregnancy test. But on the flipside, who knows what thing seemed easy in my life, that was hard for her. We are all different, everything is about perception, and that's what makes life beautiful.
You Mindful Action for Handling Jealousy
You are going to work on noticing any time you feel imposter syndrome, or jealousy, or like you aren't enough. Whenever those feelings come up, sit back and think, what things have happened in my life to get me to where I am now. No matter what issue you're focusing on, you have made decisions right for you with the information you had at that moment. Sure, you've made mistakes, you've learned, and you've grown. Even if things are bad, and you know you deserve more, know that you have so much more knowledge than you used to have, and therefore, you have new direction and purpose in your life.
You are getting there one step at a time. No, you may not be 100% in the place you want to be yet and that's ok. Even if you were 100% where you dreamed you'd be, would you be truly happy? If you didn't practice mindfulness or gratitude, would you still be wanting more?
The trick to being happy in life, is acknowledging, and being grateful for what you do have, and the rest will begin to fall into place.
Create Big Change In Your Life
So, along those lines, I'm going to do a shameless plug right here, becuase by a random unplanned miracle, this topic fits in nicely to my new program. If you know, deep down, that you are ready for a change, Mindful Actions is here for you. If you haven't heard already on social media this past week, I am launching a new service called the Career Studio, and it is a mindfulness-based personal branding suite of services aimed at helping women shift career paths, or re-enter the workforce, after having time off. I will help you use mindfulness to tune into your strengths and skills to become more visible online as a professional in the field of work that you work in. I've changed career paths 3 times, and have been on maternity leave twice, one of which, I did actually started a new job when I returned from maternity leave. So if you are feel stuck, and you want something more out of your career, based off your own decisions, not off of what others are doing, head on over to the website, the link is below in the episode notes, and go check it out.
Now, let's go ahead and do a mental check-in with ourselves and focus on having gratitude for the things we have in life and the experiences that have shaped us into who we are.
Meditation for Jealousy and Gratitude
[Meditation Script]
Take a moment to settle the body and the mind. Relax into your body. Relax into your seated position. Roll your shoulders a bit. make small adjustments to your head. Pull your chin in so you're gently looking down and not pushing your neck out. And just sit for a moment.
And now focus on your breath. Count three deep breaths on your own.
Let's say our mantra 3 times to ourselves to begin to radiate inner-peace.
I value my inner voice, my intuition, and my body. I value my inner voice, my intuition, and my body. I value my inner voice, my intuition, and my body.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Now I want you to take a moment to ask yourself. How do I know when I'm sad, or feeling inadequate? What are those feelings, mentally or physically that surround me?
Without attaching emotion to it, make a simple statement. Just say to yourself, this thing makes me sad.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Now ask yourself, how do I know when I'm happy? What are the feelings that surround me when I'm happy?
Without attaching emotion to it, make a simple statement. Just say to yourself, this thing makes me happy.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Now ask yourself, how do I know what I'm feeling confident?
Without attaching emotion to it, make a simple statement. Just say to yourself, this thing makes me confident.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
And now take those three statements with you this week. Acknowledge what makes you sad, happy, and confident. And recognize any time an external factor is threatening your inner peace.
Thank you for practicing meditation with me today. I hope you have a great week.
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