#52SlicesOfChingonaLife #52EssaysNextWave 29/52
I visited Uncle today. Regular readers know that I am one of the caregivers for my Uncle who has dementia. I started this story weeks ago and will blend in today's visit with this story.
I hadn't been to see uncle in at least a month. I got off track because there was a Covid 19 outbreak in the home where he stays. Then I was burned out and couldn't get motivated to visit. I was very stressed out. This morning I prayed and decided to do whatever God "asked" me to do with regard to Uncle. I printed out some pictures for him and decided to stop by to see him.
He didn't look as strong or as motivated as he did before. He didn't look sick physically, he looked sick spiritually and I felt a combination of sadness and guilt. Uncle looked like he was in need for someone to remember him, to not forget about him, to be around SOMEONE who cared about him.
I asked him if we could pray and he put his praying hands together, closed his eyes, and prayed with me. As we prayed, I decided that, as long as I was able to do so, that I would make the commitment to spend more time with him, he needs nothing else.
The following is a description of another day with Uncle...
While taking my elderly Uncle to the bank this morning, I noticed that he was in great spirits, commenting about the trees and how he remembered coming to this particular bank. I smiled outwardly but inside I was praying that this would be a smooth day, that we could get through this with no drama.
Once in the bank, there was a long line. I kept praying that Uncle wouldn't lose patience and go off. There was a gentleman in front of us in the line who started talking to Uncle about how different it was to be back in the bank after Covid, etc. There were 5 people in line ahead of us so Uncle and this person were talking for awhile.
Once we got up to the teller to start our business, Uncle was almost buzzing with excitement and didn't notice that I slipped the teller a note asking her to give us small bills. "I worked 15 years with folks like him, I got you". It was amazing to watch her patiently count out the amount in $10, $5, and $1 dollar bills. Uncle smiled as she counted his money and, like a little kid, clapped his hands as she handed him an envelope of cash.
As we walked to the car, Uncle kept thanking me and thanking me for getting him out for awhile and for letting him get "all of his money" out of the bank. "People were so nice today". He felt so good seeing people and, more important, loved being seen. This is something that we take for granted -- those of us who come and go easily and who don't suffer from this frustrating and ravaging disease.
I will have to remember how Uncle felt on that day we went to the bank. I will have to remember how I felt seeing Uncle today and how sad he looked. I will be back tomorrow to take Uncle out for a ride, to get him outside in the fresh air for awhile. All I need to remember is that Uncle doesn't need anything perfect or special, he just needs me to remember him, to visit him, to not forget about him.
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