Soon we are moving right into the official "Season of Joy." You and I both know that the holidays can be some of the saddest days of the year—no joy to the world, yours, mine or anyone's—either because loved ones are no longer with us or because we place such high expectations on others, ourselves—even the season. We draw our chairs up to the table of whatever holiday is next and demand, "Hey, this is supposed to be fun and fulfilling and I'm not getting any joy here!" Expectations, misdirected, bring me disappointment every time.
THE HOLIDAYS CAN BRING OUT OUR BEST AND OUR WORST
You know it's true. What could be a disaster one year can seem funny years later. BUT NOT AT THE TIME. And my poor response to that disaster at that time sticks with me, like a piece of turkey stuck between my new $12,000 front teeth—not pretty, not comfortable.
One year I sent Thanksgiving cards that read: "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
I'm not sure everyone appreciated it.
I remember my dad saying on multiple occasions as he grew older, "It's just so wonderful that you kids all love each other!" And I would say softly, "Well, sometimes we get along better on email, Dad."
BLINDSIDED IN THE VONS PARKING LOT
Awhile back, I had been studying the topic of joy all day long in preparation for Bible study. Later on that day, on my way to pick up our youngest from school, I stopped by the store for ibuprofen and I spotted a cute J-O-Y mug sitting all by itself on a random shelf. Maybe someone had picked it up and then changed their mind and left it wherever. A God-send, I was sure of it.
A little sidenote:
God is my shopping companion and whenever there is only one left of something, I see it as meant for me from the Giver of all Gifts, big gifts and small. Mind you—THIS IS NOT IN THE BIBLE—but I smiled to myself and, picked it up along with the Advil and headed for the checkout line.
I waited with one customer in front of me and another at the counter, when suddenly a voice rang out from somewhere behind me: "Can we get another checker in here!?"
Now this was something we had all been thinking but had not said; something we might have said but not in that way. My eyes widened, my eyebrows went up a notch, but I didn't turn around.
A new young checker appeared momentarily and the woman who had singlehandedly commandeered the Dollar Store marched ahead of us both and plopped her items on the counter. And the sweet, young checker said calmly, "You have to wait your turn."
The woman marched back to the end of the line and said—maybe to me? I wouldn't look— "If you wanted to go next you should call your own checker!" (Eyebrows now raised slightly above my hairline.)
When it was my turn, I carefully made my way to the register and briefly contemplated the concept of having my own checker—I wasn't sure it was a thing. Imagine—your own checker. You'd text her or him right before heading to Costco and say, "Meet me in 20 minutes. It's going to be short run." I shook my head, quickly got my goodies and left.
While backing out of my parking space, this same woman caught sight of me—my window was down, it's California—and said for all the shopping world to hear, "You are so rude!"
Now, to be fair, I have been rude on occasion. Ask my Man-in-Plaid. It may have been last Saturday. But this time I was not rude. I opened my mouth but before I could say anything, she added:
"You didn't call for the checker!"
Eyes still wide, no eyebrows in sight, I replied gently: (At this point you are thinking, Why does Sue continue to engage? Don't ask me. I just do.)
"That's how it works—the next person in line goes to the next checker. You know, like at Kohls."
And she said, "You knew I was in a hurry!"
I replied,"I didn't hear you say that.
Then,"My husband is so sick!" So that was it. We never know why people act the way they do. Only God knows.
"I'm sorry your husband is sick," I said, and drove away while she called out after me, recalling her good upbringing, "I hope you have a nice day!"
I would've laughed, except I didn't.I burst into tears and cried all the way to my daughter's school. I looked over at my package in the seat next to me and saw the J-O-Y mug peeking out from the bag and thought, "Where did my joy go?"
I realized it hadn't gone anywhere.
I was blindsided by a woman in a much worse state than I was, and I began praying for her husband and her terrified grief as I continued to ball down Broad Street in the middle of San Luis Obispo.
God's Spirit hadn't left me just because my feelings got banged up in a shopping parking lot. That morning I had asked God to fill me up just as Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:19, "Lord, fill me up to all your fullness." I was full-up even though a little banged up. My joy hadn't disappeared, even through tears.
I told my daughter the story when I picked her up. Her one question was, "Did she see you cry, mom?" She was a little embarrassed for me, maybe, or just a hint of her becoming a great family therapist in the years to come.
Later, a friend told me I should have handed her my new mug—"Here, lady, you need this more than I do!"
She needed more than a mug.
She needed to know she wasn't alone in her grief. And that God wanted to carry her through her pain and fear. He knew mine, as well, even though so much slighter.
The writer, Maree Dee has two grown children with mental illness. When I interviewed her on my podcast she said, "It's possible to experience joy and pain at the same time." How? Because she trusts God, no matter what. (Hear Maree on Ep 75)
Trust and joy go hand in hand. And, hope.
GOD OF HOPE SPILL OVER, PLEASE
We never know what's ahead of us each day. We ask God in the morning, "Lord, please give me wisdom and strength to face my day and grace for those who need to know your joy and peace."
Someone said, "Ministry is spillage."
There's a world of hurt out there.
When someone lands a punch on our hearts, even when it's not our fault—especially when it's not our fault—I hope I remember that something else is going on in that person's life that I know not of, but God does.
I want to be so filled with God's Spirit that I am able to not only remain filled when I come under attack, but to be so filled, that when jostled and banged around that the grace and joy of Jesus spills out.
Our Sunday morning benediction is Romans 15:13 —we repeat these words of hope and faith as a congregation at the closing of the service –"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
We need to be giving this benediction to ourselves every day–maybe before our husbands get home or we head out the door or before we go into work:
"Dear God of hope, please fill me with all joy and peace in believing – that I will abound and overflow with hope by Your power."
The holidays are a season of joy, even according to the world's standards but it can be one in which we are bumped and jostled even more than usual—not just in crowded store aisles and in the kitchen with relatives we don't even like. But also in our emotions and expectations with our families and loved ones.
May we be so filled with God's joy and peace in believing that when shoved and hurt, He spills over to heal and love whomever He puts in our path.
Even the unsaved world calls Thanksgiving a time to be show gratitude and calls December their Season of Joy. Shouldn't we who know to Whom to be thankful and because we know the real reason behind joy to the world—be the first to spread true joy and peace on earth? Yes. But I won't be that spiller-over-of-love-and-grace if I don't sit at Jesus' feet and ask Him to fill me up becuase He knows who I may meet at the Dollar Store.
Let's spend a moment emptying ourselves in confession and giving Him our concerns, asking Him to fill us to the brim with His Spirit.
"Lord, we draw our chairs up to You daily, not just on feast days, and find that You alone are the feast we've been longing for. Remind us that others are hurting and hiding behind that hurt. Fill us up, Lord, with your goodness and grace. And when we're bumped, because we are bound to be bumped, may I be another's joy to their world, even if just for a day. Thank You and Amen."
Hey, friends. I'll be sharing on this great topic of joy in two talks this coming weekend at a women's conference at Gateway Church in Visalia, CA— "A Cup of Joy in Every Season" and I would love your prayers for the Spirit to work in and through me. Thanks so much. You're part of my filled cup.
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ULTIMATE BUNDLES, THE HOMEMANAGEMENT VERSION has graciously included my Hospitality Made Simple digital planner and the Bundle goes on sale all next week, Monday-Friday.
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In the meantime, there are 3 practical and FREE webiners you can attend in your robe with coffee. Register for those HERE.
Three topics:
I. Extreme Makeover, Holiday Edition
The class is being offered ONLY ONCE at: Thursday, November 3rd at 1pm ET Click HERE
II. Organize Your Life by Creating a Home Hub
The class is being offered ONLY ONCE at: Friday, November 4th at 11am ET Click HERE
III. 3 Steps to Take Before Thanksgiving to Make Your Holidays Happier
The class is being offered ONLY ONCE at: Friday, November 4th at 2pm ET Click HERE
Register HERE for all three.
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