A message blinked on her phone,
"Can we meet?"
Her heart stopped. The sender of this message had stopped being mysterious a long time ago and yet, the mystery of this was unfathomable.
Someone else would've pondered the answer. She knew better. She deleted it and went about her day.
Had she expected it? In some way, she had even wanted it.
After all, he was the father of her child. How long could he stay away from it all?
He was also bruised and wounded by Faraz, she suspected. How could he not reach out to gain sympathy from someone who shared Faraz as an enemy? It was all set into motion years ago when she had first slept with Adeel. They had made an unbreakable bond. Part of it was sick and morbid. Part of it had been pure lust and a woman's desperate need to find earth under her feet.
Shehla's departure had been, for want of a better word, chaotic. Hamza mourned his divorce like he hadn't even mourned Rabia's death. Maybe Shehla took care of him in more ways than one. Kausar also suspected that Shehla and Hamza had some stipulations regarding cheating in their marriage contract. It was hard to imagine that a philanderer like Hamza was so heartbroken over losing yet another woman because he cheated on her. She had probably hit him where it hurt a lot. She had probably gotten a lot of money for how he had treated her.
Does money heal the soul? Kausar wondered. Guess a lot of money can buy distance from bad men to heal the soul quietly in solitude.
"You've been working hard", He cornered her again in the garden as she collected toys after the kids were done playing. Shehla had been right. He had chased her relentlessly.
She could smell his expensive perfume. Shehla said he wouldn't remain popular with the ladies after she was done with him but maybe Hamza had access to more women than Shehla could humanly block.
"This isn't work", Kausar smiled gently, "The kids wanted to play here. Now they're working on their homework".
"Poor things!" He sighed like the kids were also going through a divorce, "I'm so glad they aren't affected".
"By what?" She asked sharply.
"By everything that happened", He said, getting misty-eyed and emotional, "They're very young to bear witness to grown women throwing tantrums. I'm so embarrassed at how Shehla humiliated all of us at the breakfast table. She was something".
It had been six months since the divorce. Six short months! Kausar suspected Hamza had a contender for his fourth wife already. He spoke at night in hushed tones and she frequently saw him leaving the house at odd hours. She was relieved. If this meant that she was off the hook, then she was very happy.
"I liked her", Kausar said flippantly, causing Hamza to purse his lips, "I think she was a straight shooter. Your mother needs someone to be honest with her. She gets away with a lot".
"Ack!" Hamza exclaimed, "She has always been like that. A Debbie downer! My father's only wish was to have a vivacious and gregarious woman as a partner and she couldn't even measure up to that. Imagine how unfortunate a woman would be to not be able to value the man my father is!"
Kausar remained quiet. The urge to tell Hamza to leave her alone got stronger.
"I was hoping we could get out without the kids some day", He said, his voice low and throaty, "We are married. We should get to know each other better".
"I hardly get any time", She said, trying to come up with ways to stop him, "And moreover, I wouldn't be any good. I'm always so tired. Why don't you take someone you know?"
"No!" He said forcefully, "I'll take you. I realize, Kausar, I need stability. I've been chasing the wrong thing. Everything I need is right here. I need to appreciate what I have and stop chasing women who are nothing more than bad news".
He made it sound like she was his for the taking. She remained quiet. It was becoming imperative to address Hamza's impression of their marriage.
"I'm not sure if I'm not bad news", She said simply, "I don't think I'm cut out to be a good wife. And I'm not sure if our marriage translates to anything more than just a way to keep the family together".
"We have to give it a shot", He said fervently, "It is after all our marriage. We have to! Just have to!"
"Why didn't you give your marriage with Shehla a shot, then?" She faced him. "You loved her. She loved you. You talked about how you two were soulmates. Why didn't you give a shot by being faithful?"
His face got red. Something flushed his temples next. She could sense a nervous tick in his jaw.
"Some women aren't programmed to be good wives", He finally said, "She cheated on her first husband with me. And then I guess she found someone else".
"Hmm", Kausar said, "And you don't think you could've been the problem?"
"How was I the problem?" He threw up his hands, "I worshipped the ground she walked".
"How's your girlfriend?" She asked again, coldly, "Are you in touch with her still?"
"You're my wife", He said, all facade of niceness dropping as he realized that she wasn't going to fall for his bait, "I can force you to be my wife also but I'm being nice. And patient. And a gentleman. But before you get the same ideas as Shehla, let me tell you that I won't divorce you so easily. You'll rot in this home for years before death will come for you".
She looked at him. He had taken her by surprise. She had never counted on Hamza being so aggressive but guess he was in heat like Shehla had said. She was going to either feed his fury or extinguish it.
"Because I'm not Shehla", She drew herself to her full height, "I'm not yours to command. I didn't come into this marriage willingly just as you didn't take me willingly. We both have a job to do. I'm doing mine. You had better get to yours too".
She walked away.
He watched her retreating back.
"She wants you, what else could it mean?" His best friend, Shahbaz, was on the phone with him an hour later, "Maybe this is her thing. Maybe because she knows that you didn't really choose her she has to resort to some way in which you pursue her and she feels genuinely desired by you. It's a thing of pride, I think".
Marveling at how intuitive his best friend was, Hamza was encouraged.
"I didn't think about that", He said, "But it makes sense. Maybe she wants me to pursue her a bit before we really get together".
"I'm telling you", Shahbaz said, "Man! You've both been married before. A little flirting and foreplay isn't necessarily a bad thing. She probably wants you to show interest in her. Really treat her like a woman".
"I offered to take her out", Hamza said helplessly, "She declined".
"That won't cut it", Shahbaz slapped his forehead, lamenting Hamza's technique, "Dude! She lived in the United States. Fine dining in Pakistan won't even come close and she knows it. Tell you what? Get her jewelry. Women dig that. It impresses them. They see it as a real investment in them. It is worth money. They like that crap".
"I'll get something tomorrow", Hamza said.
"Don't be stupid", Shahbaz said, "You just paid a huge amount to Shehla for being a pain in the ass. Don't spend anymore. Just get something from your deceased wife's collection. That's yours now. You can do whatever you please with it".
Hamza was instantly thoughtful. It was true that he had kept all of Rabia's jewelry, including what her parents had given her after she passed away. Asiya and Rasheed never asked for it either. When Shehla redecorated the room, he had deposited the jewelry in Nasima's room. It sat in a small locked box there now. He hadn't seen it in years.
Armed with his friend's boisterous advice and his own desperation at winning Kausar over, he made it to Nasima's room. She was sleeping.
The box was clearly in sight. He remembered the combination. This was going to be quick.
He put in the date that Rabia and he had their Nikah. That was the combination.
He opened it. His eyes were dazzled. When Shehla was moving in, everything had been rushed and he had never realized how much of Rabia's things had been squandered without thought. This jewelry could've been sold. He had bought everything for Shehla with his own money. Now it all seemed like a waste.
He ran his fingers over the jewels. Rabia flashed before his eyes. She was one of a kind and yet, hadn't lasted for long.
There was a ring that he had gotten her when Noor was born. She had been unhappy for most of that pregnancy. This ring commemorated her unhappiness. It was cold and lifeless. Maybe Kausar's warm body could make it look beautiful again.
He spotted a tiny bracelet, perfect for Rabia's dainty wrist. This was a gift for Zehra's birth. Another unhappy pregnancy! Another child that they both hadn't really planned but had thought of keeping nonetheless.
Love for Rabia took him over. Why didn't Shehla keep their baby? Rabia kept them both, even though he cheated on her with multiple women throughout both pregnancies. Couldn't Shehla give him something in return for all the love he had shown her? She was certainly no Rabia. Patient, forgiving, loving, a consummate wife!
"Don't touch her things!" Someone was wide awake in this room of horrors. A woman so dormant that she might as well be dead, yet so revengeful that she was always dangerous.
"I was just looking", He said before carefully slipping a ring in his pocket that Rabia hadn't worn much and had likely been given by a distant relative assuming by how light and cheap it looked, "She was my wife too".
"You've had many wives", Nasima said wearily, "Too many if you ask me".
"Can I help it if I got widowed and then divorced?" Hamza's voice was bitter.
"You can't help any of it", Nasima said, "I do think you can help being a manipulative snake".
He stepped out. Nasima was crazy in his opinion and he didn't have time to waste in this room.
She got up and looked through Rabia's jewelry. She opened it frequently to picture her like she was in these jewels. Just like she opened her bag of clothes and her shoe closet. It was hard to tell if Hamza had taken something but she didn't care. She changed the combination and went back to bed.
Shehla's words echoed around her.
True that Rabia was a soulmate. In more ways than one. She was the daughter she never had. And she was a woman scorned just like Nasima herself had been. But did she like that Rabia met the same fate with men as she did? Maybe! It was hard to know what her motives for anything had been for years.
Another day, she thought as she took a few sleeping pills to lure sleep back to her, I'll deal with it all. Some day I'll have the energy to see where everything went wrong. But right now, I need to sleep. Or I'll go mad.
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