One Sunday morning in 1990, as soon as the pastor closed in prayer, my friend Debbi turned around in the pew, reached out her hand to Laurie and said, "I think I need you. Will you meet with me? I'm a new mom, I don't know what I'm doing."
Although a little startled, Laurie, remembered feeling the same way years before while living in So. California.
At that time, she was a new mom and another woman—older and wiser—took her and a friend under her wing in those early stages of motherhood. That woman was Elizabeth George who became a famous author and speaker – most known for her book, A Woman After God's Own Heart.
She felt God prompting her: "You need to move out in ministry to young women."
You may not have heard that from God before today, but today is the day: You need to move out in ministry to young women.
She asked Laurie and her friend, "What are you willing to give up to grow in Jesus? Will you give up sleep one day a week? And, I will meet with you only if you are willing to be open to God's leading in using your gifts."
She was serious about God's prompting, and she wanted to make sure that Laurie and her friend, Judi were equally serious.
As much as God is about joy and delights in a good belly-laugh, He is equally interested in a serious faith, as Bob Goff told me recently on my podcast, "Faith is simple, but it's not easy."
Elizabeth, Laurie, and Judi met at a pancake house at 5:30 am every week for a whole year before God moved Laurie's family up to San Luis.
A LEGACY OF MENTORING
So when Debbi turned to Laurie that morning in church, Laurie replied, "Yes," right away. She knew the value of coming alongside a young mom because she had received that same kind of alongsidedness. They began meeting weekly, then monthly, all through Debbi's early married years and the raising of two young children. Recently, Debbi's daughter, Rebekah got married, and her "Auntie Laurie" gave the devotional at her wedding shower. I was there. Sweet to see the relationships rich and ongoing.
Debbi and Laurie began a legacy of mentoring Debbie went on to become Director of Women's Ministry at our church and has mentored countless young women. And still does with MOPS being just a part.
Deb's not wasting what Laurie poured in. Laurie's not wasting what Elizabeth poured in. And Elizabeth listened to what God was telling her and moved out in faith. God doesn't call us to a life of comfort, just in case you are feeling a little discomfort about now. He works best when I'm a little uncomfortable because I stop relying on myself.
WHAT IS MENTORING?
I love to describe MENTORING as "to come alongside" another which is found in The Message version of II Corinthians 1: 3 and 4:
"God comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, He brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us." II Corinthians 1:3,4 The Message
Two things to consider here: God and us; us and others
- We mentor another from our own experience of being mentored by God. As we experience God's "alongsideness" in our up's and down's, joys and sorrows, we can more naturally share His overflow with someone who is where we have been.
"God comes alongside us when we go through hard times…"
- We mentor another by getting close enough so that mutual vulnerability is natural and trusted. Authenticity is the vanguard of artless discipleship.
We share in authentic community.
Although I'm writing about something that I'm passionate about today, I'm not really mentoring – we don't have community yet. I may not have met you yet.
My friend, Diane, is a landscape architect. She told me that gardens do better with a drip system rather than big splashes of the hose every once in a great while. When we go to conferences and retreats—that's a big splash. But when we mentor and are mentored, we have someone alongside of us on a continual basis, helping us grow into the women God intends for us to be.
My little book on mentoring is called: Table Mentoring —I suppose I could've called it the Drip System—gives some tips and guidelines on how to get started. It can be helpful. But what is essential is this:
We need an ongoing relationship with the Ultimate Mentor, and a bold desire to get close to someone in authentic community who needs to hear what you've learned. That takes courage. And it takes listening to God.
Every follower of Christ can be and needs to be in mentoring relationship.
LIFESTYLE MENTORING
One way to mentor and influence is how we live and people may pick up on it whether or not we advertise it. I call it lifestyle mentoring.
People around us need to know that we belong to Jesus and that we are His apprentices and in the process of growing into His likeness.
- For parents and grandparents, lifestyle mentoring is by far the most effective. So in a sense, to be a parent and grandparent is to be a mentor and it's the most significant kind of mentorship because we have the opportunity to change the world through the next generation by how we live the truths of God around those closest to us –
- as we all know, More is Caught than Taught!
But family mentoring can also be the most challenging kind just because sometimes the family ties that bind us close can also drive us crazy.
The best times of mentoring I've had with my adult children have been when they have asked me:
"Mom, what do you think I should do? What bible verses should I read? How can I get through this situation?"
These times are precious and gifts from God (and not all that often!) That's why I pray for others to come into their lives to come alongside.
FOSTER THE FAITH
I heard Philip Pattison speak in November on foster care. He heads up an organization, Fosterthebay.org. He has a heart for fostering children "to make them great!" I loved his passion and heart for children. His passion reminded me of Paul's passion and love for the children of God – that's us:
Here are some samples of Paul's heart for believers—his mentees:
In Colossians 2:1 Paul wrote: "I have agonized over you and the church." (sounds like a mother)
I Thess. 1:5 – "and you know of our concern for you from the way we lived when we were with you…"
Paul wasn't related to the people who read these words, except through the cross of Jesus Christ. He fostered the faith of those around him and we are to do the same.
To foster means, in its larger sense: to nurture, nourish, encourage, impart strength, and of course, make greater.
To mentor has the same meaning. Mentoring is to foster another's faith with love and with vision.
When we mentor,
- we provide strength with words or practical help,
- and we help make their faith greater to endure the hardness of life this side of heaven.
- we foster another's faith with the love of God and the vision of what He has planned for them -- the God WHO began a good work and will continue His work until it is finally finished.
I remember when we were first married and I was struggling with everything, and my older, wiser friend, Annadale White would say with such certainty: "You and Mark are going to have the best marriage! I can't wait to see what God is going to do with your marriage!"
I wasn't so sure at the time. But what a boon to have an older, godly woman speak that vision into my life when I was feeling depleted and a little sorry for myself. Praise God for Annadale.
Philippians 1:6 states- "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6 NLT)
Perhaps our grandest role as a mentor is to call out the promised purpose in another:
- God will continue His work in you – you don't need to fret.
- He is working where you don't see.
- He is completing what you can't feel like you can finish.
This is a high calling: to love another with the vision God has for them.
You will never be bored.
You will never regret pouring into another what God has poured into you.
Every follower of Christ can be and needs to be in mentoring relationship.
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